Ranger Rick Good Samaritan Tip

Alternatively titled:  If you’re going to stop and offer assistance to someone in need, it might help if you knew what you were doing.

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I took the boys to basketball practice last night out of the goodness of my heart and also maybe because it was drop-off practice and that gave me an hour at Starbucks to read quietly.  It was after 8:00 when we finally started making our way home and the boys were talking about how much fun it was to be out past their bedtime on a school night.

I was nearing our destination and had just completed a left turn when our forward progress was halted by a car stranded sideways in the middle of the road.  The doors were open and a woman was trying to turn the key to get power to her engine as cars started to stack up in either direction.  She had a slightly panicked look about her, and I knew she needed help, so I pulled the truck over to the side, put on my flashers and got out to walk over to see what I could do.

This is the point where my dad starts chuckling and my brothers start shaking their heads.  I’m a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal when it comes to vehicle maintenance and repair….

She had run out of gas and seemed to think it would be fine to leave the car in the middle of the road, but I was concerned because A) it was pitch black; B) the road was unlit; and C) her child was in the car.  I suggested that we might push the car backwards onto a side street for safety and she agreed and she started pushing on the hood.

And this is where I realized that there are rules to pushing dead vehicles and apparently those rules had never been covered in my Girl Manual.

As the car started rolling backwards, I quickly realized that at the time of its demise, the steering wheel in her car had been turned sharply to the left because her car started to turn in an arc and head straight for MY car parked on the side of the road.  I ran to the side, opened the door and reached in to try and turn the steering wheel, but HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO TURN A POWER STEERING WHEEL WHEN THERE’S NO POWER????

It’s slightly difficult.

As in next to impossible without superhuman forearms.

Meanwhile, the car started picking up steam.  I was running backwards (in non-running backwards shoes), trying to turn the wheel and keep up with the car and then I got whammed by the open door, lost my shoes and the feeling in the left shoulder, and then pretty much lost control of whatever was going to happen.  I honestly thought I was about to get run over.  At this point, the owner realized that the situation was pretty much getting away from me us and she ran over and was able to hop in the car and get some semblance of pressure applied to the non-existent brakes, and she managed to avoid my car, but she ended up backwards in a ditch.

We placed a call to her dad and she seemed to really want me to move along and not be so helpful any more, so I went on home and told Mr. CPQ about what had happened.  He was full of helpful advice AFTER THE FACT about what to do in a similar situation, and after listening to his complex set of instructions, I think “Look pretty and show a little leg so a guy will stop” is my take-away from the whole ordeal.

Have a nice day.

Monday Musings

1.  I didn’t win any Mother of the Year Awards this weekend because I sent the boys to school on Saturday for a make-up snow day.  We made up for it with McDonald’s for lunch and two hours at a birthday party later that afternoon.  There’s nothing like french fries and cake icing to erase the painful memories of sitting in a classroom when only half your classmates show up.

2.  Mr. CPQ and I enjoyed a lovely Saturday morning date (see #1).  We dropped the boys off at carpool at 7:45 and went out for breakfast.  Before you get carried away about the cute cafe we went to, I’ll have to tell you that there were no cute cafes open at that time of morning and we ended up getting a biscuit at Hardees where we got carded because apparently you need to be over 75 to eat a biscuit at 8:00 on a Saturday morning.

We then threw caution to the wind and went on a grand adventure to the hardware store to buy wood pellets for the smoker/grill, followed by a trip to see Mr. Luther at the pig farm to buy some pork product for our Super Bowl supper, then window-shopped at the mall until it was time to pick the boys up from school.

We are so exciting.

3.  Dear Peyton, I’m sorry you lost your football game last night (and I’m not really sorry I ate that second piece of King Cake).

4.  Our favorite commenter, ImNotNed, is stranded in three feet of snow.  He ain’t going anywhere for a day or two.  Go over and say hello to him.  I’m sure he’s ready to talk to someone, anyone, Bueller, anyone, to keep from getting cabin fever.

5.  I’m “mother-in-law coming to visit” cleaning this week.  ‘Nuff said.

What are you doing today?

Have a nice day.

She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie, codeine

Praising Jesus one day and singing the wonders of narcotics the next.  You never know what’s going to show up here, do you?

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I finally threw in the towel and went to see the doctor yesterday about this coughing-up-a-lung thing that’s been going on for a couple of weeks.  It only took about two minutes for her to listen to my wheeziness and label me with bronchitis.  I’m now in possession of three prescriptions: a Z-pack, a short course of Prednisone, and codeine cough syrup.

This is my first experience with both Prednisone and codeine, and they seem to be working at cross purposes with each other.  The Prednisone is hyping me up a little and making me restless, and the codeine is making me sleepy.  Sleep and restless do not mix very well and it’s making everything a little wonky, so I’m just going to stay home today in my happy little spaced out world and try to remember when it’s time to pick up the children.

I’ve only taken narcotics one other time, and that was after the boys were born and they gave me some of the good stuff to get over my C-section.  I had been taking two pills every six hours in the hospital and assumed that the bottle they gave me to take home had the same dosing instructions.  Unbeknownst to me, the pills they sent home were double strength and so when I took the usual two pills (instead of the one that was clearly marked on the label I didn’t read), I got a bang-up loopy session that lasted several hours while the magic pills did their magic.

Oh, I felt no pain.

And let’s just say it’s a good thing they didn’t authorize refills.

Mr. CPQ has been taking good care of me.  He cancelled dinner plans last night to come sit on the couch with me and listen to my incoherent fuzzy ramblings.  He’s a good man, he is, and I think I’ll keep him.

(He was also the one who called the doctor for me to set up the appointment. Isn’t that sweet?)

Have a nice day.

Grateful

I hurt my back yesterday.

For most people that might be a passing comment, something to insert in a conversation between “Nice weather we’re having ” and “I’d like a double foam latte.”

But not for me.

I have to have a strong back and strong arms to do the work God’s called me to do with Travis.  My sweet little one can’t stand without having someone or something to support him.  He can’t get in and out of the car by himself.  He relies on someone, and that someone is me.

It was my fault that I pulled a muscle.  I was putting his wheelchair into the car yesterday after lunch and I didn’t stop to think about how my hips and knees were positioned before I picked it up, and the second I swung it into the back of the Suburban, I knew I had done something injurious.  The discomfort got worse and worse throughout the day, and by the time I crawled in bed at 7:30 with a heating pad, I was nearly in tears.

A whispered prayer through the pain, “God, please heal me.”

I know that one day I won’t be strong enough to lift him.  I know one day that He will take the physical care of Travis away from me when I’m no longer able to do so.

But I want to do so.

I want to be the one that wraps loving arms around my child.  I want to be the one to support him, to hold him close and protect him from anyone who would seek to harm him. As exhausting as it is, I am his mother, and I want to care for him.

I woke up this morning to absolutely no pain. I lifted him with ease to put him in the car, and carried him without incident over an icy stretch of sidewalk to get into the school building.

All the while singing praises to the Great Healer for watching over me, for hearing me, and for healing me so I can fulfill the purpose to which I am called.

He’s got my back.

Have a nice day.

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night…

The 5:00 news last night announced another snow cancellation for today.  Approximately fifteen minutes later, the phone rang.  It was my dear Mr. CPQ calling to check in on me.  I asked if he was on his way to an after work engagement but he said he was coming straight home because when he heard that school was going to be closed, he knew he’d need to come home to administer a tranq dart.

I’m choosing to believe he came home for me and not the season premiere of LOST.

Speaking of lost, if you don’t hear from me tomorrow, send out a search expedition to make sure I haven’t slid into a ditch.  My cabin fever has reached critical levels and I’m loading the kids up to take them out for lunch and some wandering time at Target. 

The kids don’t know yet, but before we can taste the delights of Target, we have to stop at the dentist.  You might question why I, of all people, am risking life and limb to get to the dentist’s office, but it took me three years to get all the boys on the same six-month cleaning schedule and I’m not about to waste that primo scheduling slot.  Besides, after A LOT of togetherness for the last five days, I’m looking forward to those thirty minutes of alone time in the waiting room while all three of them are in the chairs.

Nothing will keep me from this appointed round.

Have a nice day.

GladiTuesday: Snow Edition

1.  I’m glad it’s Snow Day 4 and we’re all still speaking to each other.

2.  I’m glad I’m a hoarder was prepared with plenty of food in the pantry.  Mr. CPQ was able to get out yesterday around noon and make it to the grocery store to pick up some eggs and bread.  We hadn’t anticipated being snowed in for more than a couple of days and we were running  a little low on the fresh stuff.

3.  I’m glad for technology that keeps me connected with friends and family even when I can’t get out of the house.

Can’t get to the library?  Download a book onto my iPhone Kindle app.  Don’t know how to knit a particular stitch and my yarn whisperer can’t meet me for coffee and show me how?  Hello, YouTube!

4.  I’m glad for outdoorsy neighbors who traipse by and offer to take Tommy and JJ sledding.  It’s a blessing because I need to stay inside to supervise Travis who cannot abide touching anything cold and wet.

This is the boy who freaks out at having ice cubes in his drink.  You can imagine how he feels about being exposed to a wintry wonderland.

5.  I’m glad General Hospital is getting good for the compelling documentaries I’ve been able to watch while being snowed in.

As always, I’m glad you stopped by today.

And said something funny.

And made me laugh.

Thanks, Gretchen, for hosting the Gladdies!

Have a nice day.

She wore a raspberry beret

So, we’ve been snowed in since Friday night at Casa de Carpool. The initial burst of activity has given way to complete and utter lack of ambition which is now evidenced by the condition of my house and the lack of personal hygiene.

We’ve been watching movies (You’ve Got Mail, Star Trek, The Bourne Identity, Emma), cooking (a disastrous attempt at a new rice noodle recipe), and playing in the snow. 

Well, the kids have played in the snow.  This jungle girl doesn’t do cold very well.  I love snow, but more in an aesthetically pleasing sort of way while I observe it through the window as I drink my hot cocoa.

I have been slightly crafty and finished a project I’ve been working on this week – a hat that Mr. CPQ said belongs at the indie coffee shop on the head of some Birkenstock-clad woman.

I thought it looked more like something you find in a second-hand store.

Have a nice day.

And in the “Oh no, she didn’t” category

We’re still talking about the dentist today.  I’m sorry.  I have to purge that dark episode from my psyche and writing about it is cathartic.

It also conveniently gives me a post for today.

I was well prepared for my appointment.  I’d been practicing my deep breathing, wore my killer boots that give me an extra dose of confidence (and an intimidation factor since they push me well over 6′), and loaded my iPod with soothing/very loud music to drown out the pick-y and whirring sounds which  tend to make me break out in hives.

I arrived early to my appointment in hopes they would get me in and out sooner, and to pass the time, I thought I’d listen to some of my music to settle my nerves.  It was then I discovered to my SHEER HORROR that my earbuds weren’t in my purse.  Or in my jacket pocket.  Or in my car.  Or under the car.  I desperately texted Whimzie:

“One of the kids took my set of earbuds.  You know…the set I was going to use DURING MY APPOINTMENT????”

She ever so calmly texted back:

“Okay. It sounds bad, but we can get through this.” (Do you see why I love this woman more than my luggage?)

“Are Travis’ still in the car?”

Oh, you mean, these?

I must have paused long enough for her to text me again.

“I know what you’re thinking, but SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE, WOMAN! This constitutes an emergency.  Drastic times calling for drastic measures and all.”

Do you think I used them?

Dang straight, I did.

Have a nice day.

Is the Dentist’s Office BYOB?

Tuesday morning found me at my computer chatting on-line with Whimzie about the day’s agenda, the milk chocolate macadamia laceys at World Market, my Jersey hair, and what we could fix for supper that would satisfy at least three out of the five people in our family.  Whimz had already read my Monday post about dragging my feet over having to make appointments for doctor appointments so she harrassed the living life out of me offered gentle words of encouragement to just MAKE THE CALL.

One of those calls was to the dentist.  If you’ll recall, I have slight anxiety issues about going to the dentist (discussed here and here), and  this anxiety may or may not require a heavy overdose of prescription medication to overcome.  I was hoping that the very nice receptionist would tell me that they refused to ever have me darken their doors again, but sadly, they could fit me right in.

SO, while you’re reading this, I’ll be strapped into a chair, gripping the armhandles and praying for Jesus to return getting my teeth cleaned, vainly attempting to ignore  the awful sound of the spinny thing, trying not to feel self-conscious about a stranger being close enough to notice the size of my pores all the while controlling the urge to throw a Class A freak out and run screaming from the building.

Yes, I know I’m now 40 and expected to act maturely.  But 40’s the new 30, so I’m allowed.

Speaking of neurotic, I may use some of my chair time to ponder how Amy keeps her Tupperware drawer organized like this (scroll down to item #4 on her list).  WHO STACKS THEIR TUPPERWARE?

Someone else may need a prescription or two….

Have a nice day.

And in romantic news

Mr. CPQ brought home a new vacuum cleaner yesterday because our previous one was felled by carpet fuzz from the Great Carpet Installation Project of 2010.

It was not helpful that the motor on the old one burned out thirty minutes before company came over for dinner Sunday night, leaving my house with a lingering and distinct electrical odor that mixed ever so well with l’air du 10 year old boys and barbecue.

While Mr. CPQ is happy with all the buttons and gadgets, the boys are dancing circles over the fact that they now have eighteen new attachments to use as weapons of mass destruction against their siblings.

I’m a simple girl and practically giddy over the self-retracting cord.

Speaking of giddy, I was excited that I had TWO opportunities for outings with girlfriends yesterday.  My friend A. treated me to birthday lunch at my favorite ladies-who-lunch place, Zest.  We’ve been eating lunch together semi-regularly for three years and we never go any place else because the turkey burger at Zest is A THING OF BEAUTY.

I was supposed to meet other friends in the evening for my monthly poker night which amuses me to say because A) it sounds like a rabble rousing crew when really it’s a group of church ladies; B) we never play poker; and C) it’s a thinly veiled excuse to get together and eat cake.    The plans fell apart at the last minute but I didn’t want to waste my kitchen pass so I spur of the moment called a couple of friends that I’ve been trying to get together with for three weeks to ask if they had plans for supper, and I think they must be just like me because at 6 pm they were still staring blankly into the refrigerator searching for inspiration.

Forty-five minutes later we were happily esconced in a bowlful of guacamole and three baskets a basket of chips catching up with each other.

I came home to the sight of Mr. CPQ running the vacuum cleaner and I don’t think I’ve ever loved him more.

Enables my Mexican food cravings AND cleans the carpets?

I think I’ll keep him.

Have a nice day.