Well, it’s all over but the shouting. I survived the Big Trip to the Dentist, AKA Legally Trippin’ on a Friday. I had to go back and look at my Twitter home page to see what I had said to help me reconstruct the day.
I’d like to say that I had everything under control, but the text I sent to Kellie at 7:40 belied my outward calm:
Girl, me and Jesus were having some intense negotiations between 2-5 this morning.
I popped the first wonder pill at 7:30 when we dropped the kids off at school and within 15 minutes was waxing rhapsodic about it on Twitter.
They should offer this as an add-in at Starbucks.
I thought I had my eyes open for this picture. No lie – this was 20 minutes after I popped it. Good thing my driver was wide awake.
By the time I got to the dentist’s office, Craig had to help me walk in the front door for my legs had forgotten all of their functioning except how to buckle at the knees. Once inside, I found the nearest wall and propped it up all by myself. Tried to stop the goofy smile to no avail.
Someone led me to The Room, and the dentist came in holding three pills. I remember him telling her – two Ativan and one Whateverizampam. I may or may not have waited for him to get me water to swallow them with. THEN, the nitrous of love.
Have I told you about the time I got over-nitroused? It was in college and I had broken a tooth that needed to be crowned (the very one I got recrowned yesterday) and they had jacked me up on nitrous and forgot I was in the room. Somewhere in the back of my head I started looping “Onward Christian Soldiers” and it managed to loop all the way out my mouth at the loudest end of the decibel range. At least it wasn’t “Do you really want to hurt me?”
Wouldn’t want them to answer that with an extra jab of the needle, now, would we?
Craig says they placed a call to him saying they had found a large cavity that needed to be fixed next to the broken tooth, so he said okay. Normally having him authorize an extra round of needles poked in my gums would have sent me straight to divorce court, but I was blissfully floating on Lake Como with George Clooney and could not have cared less.
George says to tell you all hello.
Apparently when all was said and done, I made it out of the chair and home, though I do not recall any of it. Craig said I walked like Tim Conway on crack. I tweeted
Pains and bed callww
Can someone tell me what “callww” means?
At 6:00 I found the wherewithal to type
Just a wakened by the warden to drink water. Back to bed. Oh, and OuCH!
Then I woke up this morning at 7:30 – apparently Craig fed me a bowl of black bean chili in bed, because there was some on my shirt this morning. (Note to husbands reading my blog: help your wife out of her street clothes when she’s incoherent and needs to be in bed, or at least change them when they get beans on them. Thank you.)
The children came in the room and said “I’m so glad you’re not dead”. Me, too.
I tried to eat a cinnamon roll, but decided that food through straws might be the way to go today. I think everything in general is going to be slowish.
Forgive any nonsensical ramblings – oh wait, every day here at CPQ you find nothing but nonsensical ramblings…you’re used to that.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers yesterday.
I’ll wear makeup tomorrow.
Have a nice day.
PS – Normally I would care that I have odd lines/spacing/indentations in my post. Not today. It is what it is….