This is why I go to the chiropractor

File this under random, but my purse is bulging at the seams and weighs a ton.  It is beyond me how I could have so much stuff in there.   I only recently started carrying a purse at Craig’s insistence because he was tired of tucking a tube of lipstick in his pocket everytime we went out.  (A tube of lipstick?  Yes, I can leave the house with only two things – a cell phone and tube of lipstick.  My mother told me to never leave the house without it, and don’t we all still listen to our mothers?)

The idea for this blog entry started when I was at a luncheon a couple of hours ago.  The speaker was giving some helpful hints and I wanted to write them down.  I started digging for a pen.  Seriously, Jimmy Hoffa could be buried in my purse. Here, in no specific order, are the items currently found in there:

3 Motts Juice Boxes (full)

1 metallic gray tank top

2 skeins of yarn

2 bamboo knitting needles

2 toothpicks

A “hello my name is” badge that mispelled my name

An Arby’s kid’s meal scavenger hunt card – i need to find a hanger, and 5 plastic buttons apparently

Instructions for how to properly take my birth control pills

My Dad’s gift certificate

A calendar book

Sunday School handout on worry (at this point, I’m worried I won’t find the bottom of my purse)

travel pak of Kleenex

2 yellow highlighters

Another travel pak of Kleenex

Business card for the yarn store

A crushed up Dixie Cup

A coupon for Home Depot

A Thomas train

My work cell phone

My home cell phone

A bandaid (new)

A bandaid (not so new)

2 bracelets

1 necklace

2 rubber bands

1 hair band (I cut it short six months ago)

1 twisty tie

empty Splenda pack

wrapper to lollipop

2 gum wrappers

1 straw wrapper (why don’t we just call this the trashcan section)

Another “hello my name is” badge (do I think I’ll forget?)

used stamp

A Dora Leapster Cartridge

Dental floss

Solo cup that looks like it might have held a food sample from BJ’s in it

a change purse

$4.08 in loose change, outside the change purse

1 smartie (not a pack, mind you, just one)

10 pens

1 pencil

1 lipliner

3 tubes of lipstick

1 powder compact

1 eyeshadow compact

Sanitizing hand wipes

Feminine products Girl stuff

A picture of me and a friend in college sticking our heads out of the shower – don’t ask

An envelope labeled “Fun Money” (and it looks like I can go have some fun!)

****Just a little edit to say that after dumping the contents of my purse and cleaning everything out and starting fresh, I found myself driving down the road today, talking on the phone with Amy who was trying to dictate a recipe to me so I could get the ingredients at the grocery store.  I said “Hang on, let me get a pen.”  I reach into my purse only to discover that it was empty.  NO PEN!!!!  This is what I get for being on top of things.  Fortunately, I had a choice of 6 pens, 1 pencil, 1 Sharpie and twelve crayons in the glove compartment.


4 responses to “This is why I go to the chiropractor

  1. Just to be clear, I am NOT the friend from college sticking my head out of the shower.

    I used to wish I could be on some game show where they awarded the person who had the most random item in her purse. Usually I have a ton of stuff in my purse that isn’t all that helpful and not one single pen that actually writes.

    Did you know me when I used to call them “pocketbooks”?

  2. Everyone here in NC calls them pocketbooks. I love that word.

  3. Oh my. Just how big is that purse of yours?? My arms got tired at the first pack of kleenex.

  4. HILARIOUS! When I was in 5th grade, my Yankee teacher (she was from Boston and had a thick accent) asked me to run inside and get her pocketbook for her.

    I looked and looked for a pocket notebook and couldn’t find one.

    She followed me back to the classroom, picked up her purse and said, “It was RIGHT here”. Oh. I didn’t know until then that a purse went by other names. 🙂

    My purse is usually a mess. BUT, I cleaned it out before I left last week and for some reason it’s still nice and organized. I’ll give it another week…

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