Should I stay or should I go….

“Come and get me, please?”

It’s Baby A.  He’s hating school.  And he wants me to come get him.

He really shouldn’t be this miserable.  He’s making good grades, though clearly, the hours of sitting at a desk are slowly but surely doing him in.

On Monday, it was “I have a fever”.  He didn’t.

On Tuesday, it was “I have heartburn”.  It didn’t abate until I told him that shots were the cure for heartburn. (I’m sure there’s an injectable antacid somewhere in the vaults of Astra Zeneca).

This morning, it was “My tummy hurts”.  Could be, but hard to believe when he was doing major Bakugan battle in the living room with his brother not ten minutes before.

Anyway, he called about 10:00 and tearfully asked me to pick him up.  The tears were replaced with miffiness (not a word, I know, but he was miffy) when I let him know that I would pick him up, but when he got home, he’d be staying on his bed with a book (what?  no playing on the computer?  no unfettered access to TV?  But that’s what we always do when we’re sick!)  After a little prodding and a few probing questions, he admitted that maybe he wasn’t so sick after all.  He hung up the phone without saying goodbye.


This is the part of being a mom that I struggle with.  I’m not known for my compassion.  As the only girl in a houseful of boys, the daughter of Type A dad, and a product of years spent in a boarding school, I’m more of a “buck up, little camper” kind of parent.  And yet, even in my less than compassionate moments, there still is ache and second-guessing, and wondering if I’m doing the right thing to raise this little tender hearted one to being all that he’s intended to be.

He needs to learn that sometimes, we play hurt.  That life calls us to do stuff that’s not pleasant.  That part of being responsible is doing that for which we are responsible, whether we like it or not.  It’s much too easy these days to walk away from responsibility, and I want him to willingly submit and do what’s required of him.  Does this make sense?

And yet I want him to know that I love him in the midst of making him do something he abhors.  So, to that end, I went to school and had lunch with him.  And rubbed his little back, and shared a bite of tortilla chips and Oreos and talked with his friends and asked about recess.  I just wanted to let him know that he is important to me, and that I do care deeply about him.

Just not his tummy.


4 responses to “Should I stay or should I go….

  1. On that same note I’m going to do “Disney Sing-it” with Bryn because I love her … even though I don’t want anyone to know I know the words to Hannah Montana. Life is good.

  2. I’m such a sucker for having someone at home with me that I let my kids talk me into staying/coming home fairly often. I’d have been there in a heartbeat to bring ’em home. (Not necessarily the best way of teaching responsibility, eh?)

    BUT, I understand your reasoning, and I love that you went and had lunch with him. That was the perfect solution.

  3. You go girl. You done good. i too have struggled with letting them be¨sick¨or helping them fight their giants although not necessarily alone. I too found myself driving to school to cheer my dear child around the soccer field while she pushed herself to run the required laps… even after hearing repeatedly, ¨I´m gonna throw up Mom!¨ Memories of the 600 yd. dash creep into my mind. We are in the season of sowing and later on we shall reap!!

  4. Oh — the dreaded 600 yard dash. I hated that with a passion. Maybe that’s why I’m still not a runner, lo these many years later.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s