I have good leftovers today. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything else you will read.
So I’m a knitter, you know. Ha ha – ‘fess up, sister! Let me rephrase. I learned how to knit a scarf about six months ago. And I’m oh-so-proud of myself and have spent the intervening six months making 8 bajillion scarves that look the same except the colors have been changed to protect the innocent. I’m officially tired of making them now and have moved on to this instead.
Enter long-suffering Job, um, Amy. She’s in the Sunday School class that we recently joined, and she overheard my lament about not knowing how to do anything other than knit a square. She graciously offered to take some time this morning to meet with me and help me learn how to knit in the round. So off I went to one of my favorite places to get my supplies. And forgot my coupon. Arrgh!!
From there I went to the mall and met Amy. Isn’t she a doll? All blonde and pretty haired and knitty? And I’m having a bad hair day and my face looks VERY round, but I’m going to blame it on having to hold the camera six inches from my face to take the picture. And ignore my wrinkles. And the extra twenty pounds.
It didn’t take me long to realize that knitting in the round was going to be the least of my worries. Three little letters threatened to undo my Christian witness today: KFB, or “knit front to back” for all you non-knitters. By the time I spent way too much time trying to get it right, KFB stood for Knit this, you Flippin‘ Bunch of Weasels. No lie, it took me ONE HOUR to get to this.
“Susan” you might say, “Didn’t you buy green yarn for your soctopus? And circular needles? Isn’t that blue yarn on a double-point needle in the picture?” My, how astute you are, dear reader. Yes, I did buy green yarn, but apparently I don’t know how to read directions about such things as gauge and yarn content and I bought “splitty yarn”, and I didn’t know that I couldn’t knit this puppy/octopus on circulars, so Amy let me use hers. Live and learn. And keep the receipt.
Again, wrinkles. Did I mention I’m turning 40 in 10 months? Hopefully I can also find a good hairdresser before then. Let’s pretend I’m letting my bangs grow out.
So, there you have my morning. Hanging out at the mall with Amy, drinking Caribou chai latte that wasn’t as good as Starbucks’, and trying not to swear.