Mea Culpa

Confession is good for the soul.

We were leaving church yesterday and loading up the kids in the car when my dear sweet husband says “Is the tire flat?”  Ummm, honey, have you been reading my blog recently? And it was Noah’s Ark raining and 33 degrees and he was in his Sunday finest trying to put air in it at the first gas station we found that had air.  Does no one have air anymore?  And under a covered roof? Turns out there was a H-O-L-E in the tire, but Mr. Frank at BJ’s was able to fix it for us and after four hours (eek!) we were merrily on our way again.

And remember my sock-topus?  That looked like this?002

Well, I started working on the legs and I’m back to swearing again.  We’re calling it the Suck-topus for now unless I can talk Amy into meeting me for coffee and straightening me out.  We talked about it at Sunday School yesterday and she said that I should have brought it, but I thought it might not be the best witness to sit on the back row, knitting and cursing while my fabulous teacher was trying to talk about Jesus.

Speaking of Sunday School, I was off-kilter yesterday because when I got there, I realized that I FORGOT IT WAS MY SUNDAY TO BRING SNACKS and everyone was standing around looking at me as if to say “You know that we can’t talk about Jesus without munching on a ham biscuit.”   And we were late which meant that someone else had already claimed our usual seats. I was off, off, off for the rest of the day.

Speaking of “off”, I temporarily had a porn star following me on Twitter.  I received an email saying “Jenna’s now following you!”  I was all excited because, as you know, I have 4-6 readers and Jenna would make the 7th.  I clicked on the link and saw waaaaay too much of Jenna.  I guess she saw way too much of my mundane life, because after about 2 hours, she wasn’t following me any more.

And speaking of following (don’t you just love the segues today), you know I’ve been following The Bachelor this year, right?  All this transparency talk must be kicking in…and now you know the Carpoolqueen is shallow. Tonight’s the Big Finale, and I’ll finally find out why Jason’s throwing himself off the balcony.  It’s bugged me all season.  And I’m obsessed slightly curious to know why they’re going to close the set for the Big Interview at the end.  Do not call, do not text, do not email me tonight.  I’ll be busy.

Watching Jason hurl himself off the ledge.

(And hopefully picking Melissa because if he goes back to Deanna, I may have to hurl myself.)


12 responses to “Mea Culpa

  1. This is the first season I haven’t watch The Bachelor. Probably because we don’t have TiVo and I just can’t let myself watch that when my kids are awake…they’re constantly trying to sneak a peek and I end up missing most of the show trying to shoo them out of the room and shield their eyes from such smut. It’s smut that I love though. *sigh*

    I hear ya on having a hard time finding air for your tires. We stopped at three different exits on our trip home from AR at Christmas trying to find a station with an air pump. Crazy.

    • I hit the pause button on General Hospital and Days of our Lives. I wish they’d hit the FF button on Bionicles and Star Wars Clone Wars.

  2. Miso sorry about the suck-opus. Frustration when sewing, knitting or driving usually leads to the most profanity in my world.

    I’ll be busy tonight, too. Don’t ruin it for me, either, you eastern time zone woman.

    Do you have a porn name? I think it’s your pet’s name + your street name. At one time, I was Sadie Camelot.

  3. Which pet and which street? Because I could be Pepe Elmhurst, Cricket Springfield, Whuffo Sunnybrook, (or Barkley Sunnybrook or Winston Sunnybrook), Cricket Shore or Barkley Shore or, my personal favorite: Oreo Old Oak….yeah, if that were my name and I twitted, can you even IMAGINE the followers I’d have? By the way, I think I’m just going to give up blogging and leave chapters in YOUR comment section. You okay with that?

    • Pepe Elmhurst makes me laugh. I don’t think I knew Pepe. And Cricket Shore rhymes with stuff I can’t write about in my blog. Because we’re classy here and talk about The Bachelor.

      • Pepe was age 3 to 1st grade, so that was pre-you. And twitted sounds like a neurological condition or maybe the sound your cat makes when it sneezes. I thought of that cat sneezing the other day and literally laughed. out. loud.

        So I’ll call you around, let’s say 9:45ish? 😉 Just kidding.

  4. I just found your blog from Gretchen’s blog. What a hoot you are! I loved reading it! The funny thing is, I watched you load everyone in your car yesterday just as I was leaving. And it WAS pouring! Here’s another little “air-in-the-tire” story: Steve is really meticulous about his car & very careful. A few months ago he went to get air in a tire & when he started to put the cap back on the valve, it rolled under the tire. Since he couldn’t reach it, he backed up the car just a little to be able to retrieve it. He forgot there was one of those concrete “stubs” that are about 3 feet tall behind the car. When he turned the wheel & slowly backed up, he backed right into it, laying a crease in the quarter panel. That was not a cheap repair! And he was just sick about his pretty little car with a “boo-boo”.

    • Oh the horror! I can just see it. I dragged one of those concrete stubs across the parking lot one day. With my dad in the car.

      It wasn’t pretty.

  5. Wow…I just read your other comments and if I was a porn star then my name would be Indiana Jones Highway 128. So sexy.

  6. Hi. Just visiting your site from Meredith’s and saw you are in Raleigh. That is where I am from! I was excited to see a blogger from there, although I’m sure you’re not the only one. 😉

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