Just to clarify…

Don’t you hate it when you say something that comes across nowhere near what you meant?  Or when you type something that may not be clear without closer inspection?  That happened to me yesterday when it was rightfully pointed out that, for a second, it may have seemed that I regretted having the children.  So after breaking out in immediate hives, I went back and re-read what I wrote and I can see how it could have been worded more clearly.

The editor responsible for yesterday’s post has been fired and replaced by a new one.

What I was trying to say was that after I welcomed our most beloved children, the ones for whom I proudly carry stretch marks, I regretted that I  let the maid go. 

Deep, deep regret at letting her go.

“Let’s have a moment of silence” kind of  regret.

“Lost my girl, my dog, my truck” country song regret. 

“Standing in the rain holding a boom box over my head begging her to come back” regret.

Glad we cleared that up.

Besides, if I had not had the children, I would have missed out on the magnificent odiousness brought to me by Baby C’s feet yesterday.  Seriously, how in the world does a nine year old have feet like that?  I had to ROLL THE WINDOWS DOWN they were so foul.  I’m re-thinking the “Sure, you can wear your Crocs without socks!” rule.  It was a rough ride home.

I also would have missed this gem of a question “Mom, do you think I’m old enough to establish a plan for a new toy aisle at Target?”

Sure, baby, knock yourself out.While you’re at it, do you have a plan for getting out of 3rd grade without having your mother committed to the psych ward?

The next hour was spent drawing scale models of the new Bionicle aisle (coming soon to a store near you), and somewhere I saw an agenda of items he intends to bring to the store manager’s attention next time we’re there.  Oh, I’m so looking forward to seeing that manager’s face when the conversation takes place.  I’ll be around the corner, pretending to use the self-scan price checker that hasn’t worked in three years.  Or maybe I’ll REALLY be around the corner…. hiding out at Walmart.

And speaking of conversation, before I had time to set my hopes on overnight fame and fortune brought to us by my brilliant child selling his design rights to Target, those hopes were dashed by overhearing:

Child 1: “Hey, let’s ask Mom if she’ll take us to Pei Wei.”

Brilliant Child: “I don’t like Pei Wei.  Teriyaki makes me hurl.”

Child 1: “But you like Chinese food.  Why don’t you like Pei Wei?”

Brilliant Child:  “I like Chinese food, but Pei Wei’s not Chinese.  It’s Asian.”


Hard to argue with brilliance.

Have a nice day.

12 responses to “Just to clarify…

  1. Having children = endless blog fodder. How could anyone regret that?

  2. I desperately want to see those plans. I bet they’re great! I love that brilliant boy. And stinky feet boy (who is also brilliant). And melt-my-heart boy (again, who is brilliant). I desperately want to see those boys!!!

  3. Amen. And btw, my son refuses to wear socks in his Merrills. Talk about a year round stank. I try to spray febreze in them when he’s not looking, but, sometimes I forget…

  4. My how I love boys!!!!!!!!!!

    Mine just recently expressed to me after using the word “sustain” correctly that he has a “killer” vocabulary…humility meet Connor, Connor humility.

    I have a sneaky suspicion that our boys would have immense and endless Lego/Bionicle fun together…OR, that you and I probably know more about when/what time/what store will have the new release of Power Miners or whatever “new” Bionicle CNILEJE (that’s not real, I just never understand their names)…

    For what it’s worth, I didn’t think for a second you regretted the kiddos…I have spidey sense like that..I knew better ;)!

  5. I’m just waiting for the night that I check on our boy, look at his sweet sleeping face, and exclaim “Wow! When did you start to smell so bad?”

    Glad Simba is better. I still say that I would get a cat if I could clone him (oh, and use gene silencing during the cloning process to make him hypoallergenic. Hmmm. Sounds like a business plan).

    And a belated Happy Anniversary to you and Lurch.

  6. What would we do without kids to keep us laughing?!?! 🙂

  7. I was totally laughing at the maid comment. Maybe because I have four boys it never even entered my mind that you were talking about not having kids?!?

    Just think it could be worse, you could be homeschooling your 3rd grader and begin to wonder if handwriting really is all that important in the big scheme of things? I mean really if he goes on to become a doctor he won’t need to write legible anyway will he?

  8. I didn’t think for a second you regretted having kids…but a maid? That I regret for you.

    And for me too.

    Even though I was never given the chance to get rid of a maid.

    Which I’m certain I would NEVER do.

    Get rid of a maid, that is.


    …I need caffeine.

  9. Just for the record, I love Pei Wei. I’m so jealous you even have one. I mean, I love that place. Seriously love it.

  10. oh, girl, I hear you about the stinkyfeet. whew!

    and the redesign of Target?

    BRILLIANT. that kid’s going to make you rich!

  11. I totally got the whole maid thing. Because I would have regretted that terribly, too.

    Love that you fired your editor, though. 🙂

  12. I’m reading some of your old posts….husband working, need to veg:) I ALWAYS say things that come across nowhere what I meant. Always. I truly believe it’s a gene they have not yet discovered…and boy I have it. Enjoying your blog!

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