Did you know they made toothbrushes with suction cups at the base? Now the kids can secure their toothbrushes even CLOSER to the toilet where they can capture who-knows-what-germs that escape in the potty mist when they flush.
Wait a minute.
My kids never flush.
Did you notice my flip flops (and the seriously freaky long toes) in the picture? These are my “wear all summer” flip flops that I adore, and with the temperature in the nineties for three days straight now, it was time to break them out and start wearing them again. It takes a while to adjust to them after having worn generally more supportive shoes over the winter (and now all you can think about it my Russian weightlifter legs in brown sturdy shoes….you’re welcome…really….for that little visual).
I hauled them out for the first time on Monday and took the boys with me to the grocery store where we bought all the cereal (and I’m still trying to scrape them from the ceiling tiles with the sugar high they have going on, but for the last 48 hours, I have seriously rocked the casbah for letting them buy it).
I had been wearing the flops for about six hours by the time we hit Kroger, and my toes were getting a little twitchy, but it’s always a little bit of a reentry when wearing them and I didn’t think anything of it. We secured our whole grain high fructose corn syrup goodness, a new toothbrush for Strep Boy, and $75 worth of stuff that has gotten me no closer to knowing what’s for dinner.
I was at checkout trying to keep Travis from stealing the Skittles in the impulse aisle, trying to keep Tommy from grabbing the Doritos out of the checker’s hands, trying to keep JJ from opening a passbook savings account with his 37 cents at the in-store bank, trying to get change into my purse, nodding yes to the OTHER checker who wanted to give the boys stickers, and answer the customer’s question behind me as to whether I thought the sunflowers I bought for $2.99 on clearance would last a couple of weeks or more (was he going to buy them for his wife? I would hope he’d first remove the orange “LAST DAY” sticker) when what should happen, dear Reader, at the most innopportune time?
At the same time.
It was all I could do not to go down in the middle of the store.
And I’m pretty sure the health code inspector would have frowned upon me kicking off my shoes and bouncing up and down in an attempt to stretch my toes out.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t care.
I’m pretty sure the manager hopes it’ll be a while before I return.
There are other grocery stores in town from which we haven’t been banned.
Have a nice day.