Sus, did you really think you manage the boys by yourself in Big Church yesterday?
Dear Reader, I seriously think that there was a bit of a hangover effect from the magic pills on Friday. I don’t know what possessed me to take the boys by myself to Big Church. Mr. Sus was out of town for the day and I needed to stay for a picnic after church, so I momentarily lost my mind and decided they would remember how to behave.
They did not.
There was poking.
There was pinching.
There were moments they forgot we were Baptist and did a little Pentecostal handwaving.
There was loud stretching. And saying “In Jesus Name, AMEN!” when the prayer had not quite reached the end point and they thought it should have.
Didn’t you take stuff with you?
What was I thinking? I had two pens and a tampon in my purse.
That’s it? Nothing else?
They’re NINE – I was sitting on a pine log on the backside of nowhere for three hour church services at their age. But I forget that all important GENDER difference. Yeesh! By the middle of service I was pulling out Moses and playing Hangman and scrolling through the screensavers just to provide a distraction.
Then Travis got the giggles.
Then Tommy and JJ got the giggles.
The lady in front of us did not.
Did you learn anything at all?
You mean other than finding out that the end caps can be pried off the tops of the chairs in our sanctuary? Or that our preacher can be a bit wordy? And that I need to teach Travis that church isn’t called “The Show” and that we can’t rewind it and play it all over again?
I did learn something, though. I learned where the nearest exit door was, because trust me, I was searching. And I think a few of my fellow parishioners were searching for me.
Well, what about this picnic thing?
The picnic was lovely. It was an opportunity to get some of the special needs families in our church together for a time of fellowship. After spending an hour and a half in the service, I came in on two wheels looking to fellowship with the spiked punch.
Again, Baptist. There was pink lemonade.
My dear friend who helped coordinate the lunch made the mistake of asking Baby A why he was laughing. Oh, wrong kid to ask…. He was laughing over an inappropriate joke that he chose to share with her and the rest of the table.
Can we pray for you?
Help a sister out.
Have a nice day.