Otherwise entitled “How I was going to tell you about my New Orleans vacation but ended up telling EMS my mother-in-law’s medical history.”
I had a crazy good time in Lousiana this past weekend.
Flat out delightful.
Except for the 110 degree heat index.
Let me tell you, 110 degrees on a cloudless day can make people do crazy things.
Like wearing black leggings under your dress
or crawfish on your shirt
or breaking out the 4th of July togs a month early.
But I’ll tell you all about that later, because the most interesting part of my trip didn’t happen until thirty seconds after I walked in the door of my house Sunday night. The boys came barreling over to hug me and as I was greeting them, I happened to glance over to the couch where my mother-in-law sat.
My pallid mother-in-law.
My not-smiling mother-in-law.
My looking-like-her-eyes-were-about-to-roll-up-in-her-head mother-in-law.
I walked over to the couch to ask her if she was okay, and it was immediately clear that she was not. Her words were slurring, she was confused, (and if you’ve ever met her, she’s never been confused a day in her life) and the left side of her body seemed to be sagging.
I picked up the phone and told her I was dialing 911.
She didn’t argue.
To save you from having a time consuming conversation with the 911 operator when you suspect a stroke, do these four little things:
Have your loved one smile (the smile should be even).
Have them raise both arms above the shoulders (the arms should raise to equal height).
Have them squeeze your hands with both their hands (grip strength should be equal).
Have them repeat a familiar phrase (we used “The early bird catches the worm.”).
This is my little public service announcement for the day.
Within minutes I had fire and ambulance trucks in my driveway and enough lights flashing that all I needed was a disco ball and some Boogie Fever to have a party. It definitely was raining men, let me tell you. Big brawny ones that knew what they were doing.
I just stepped out of the way and tried to answer as many questions as I could. Birthdate, medications, medical history, address…YOU DO KNOW ALL OF THIS ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, DON’T YOU????
To keep the boys from getting in the mix and wailing, I told them that if they brushed their teeth and got into bed, I’d give them their New Orleans souveniers.
Never heard a peep.
14 people in the house, sirens going.
Didn’t budge out of that bed.
Makes me feel bad that I only brought them bubble gum.
Everything seems to be fine today and it appears to have been a transitory event. She’s the picture of health and is back to herself today. As I write, she’s on her way back to our house where she’ll recuperate for a day or so before going home.
But it’s all good.
Almost as good as this
Have a nice non-eventful day.