Mr. CPQ and I had an all-too-familiar discussion after our drive home from the beach today.
(I feel slightly guilty for the auto-post Monday, but I WAS cleaning like a mad-woman when I wrote it Saturday right before we left. I just didn’t want anyone to know the house was empty for the last few days.
Because all my readers are burglars.
The whole thing blew up in my face anyway because I was Twittering about my beach misadventures with friends, so let’s just say I won’t be getting my MENSA application in the mail anytime soon.)
And slightly related, I have a friend whose mom is a member of MENSA and this friend’s mom went on a date with James Brown. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with the point of this post that I’m having an awful hard time getting to, but I thought it was a cool story nonetheless, so the next time you’re playing the Kevin Bacon game with James Brown instead of Kevin Bacon, you’ll have three degrees of separation from him. You to me to my friend to her mom to James.
Don’t you now have new meaning to your life?
But we weren’t discussing James Brown, were we? Can we please get to the point? Mr. CPQ and I were discussing (finally!)how long food is safe outside of refrigeration and/or past its expiration date. Today’s 90 millionth rehashing of our opposing views was over a package of deli ham that he had purchased on Sunday to have in our condo for snacking.
As an aside, the man has deli issues. Can I tell you how many packages of deli meat get tossed in this house because he HAS to have deli meat in the fridge but he’s never home to eat it?
ANYWAY, we were unloading the car this afternoon in the 90 degree heat when I discovered the grocery sack in the back containing warm ham. Eew…just typing those words gives me the willies.
The conversation went something like this:
Me: We need to toss this ham.
Him: Why? It hasn’t even been opened.
Me: It’s been in a hot car.
Him: (Incredulous that I might be tossing ham he forgot he had) BUT IT’S HERMETICALLY SEALED!
Me: It’s pork. In the heat. UNREFRIGERATED.
Him: Are you concerned that we will have the only known case of trichonosis this country has seen since the 1950s?
Me: No, I’m concerned about appearing on the 11:00 news. “Family of 5. Felled by hot ham.” You think I look bloated NOW in a swimsuit. Just wait til I have a stomach full of e. coli.
He rolled his eyes.
He does that a lot.
Him: You know, buzzards have enzymes in their stomachs that let them eat bad stuff and not get sick.
Me: I’m not a buzzard.
Him: I can be the buzzard.
I rolled my eyes.
I do that a lot.
This is Craig at the store buying his ham. He expressly told me that he does NOT consent to this picture because it makes his bee-hind look big. I told him “It’s my blog, and I’m annoyed at you for halfway considering endangering the lives of your family for a sandwich. The picture stays.”
Have a nice day.