Meanwhile, back at the ranch

The phone call began with “You need to have a little conversation with your son.”

Apparently, things were a little, um, unruly around the house with Mama gone and galivanting on the West Coast.


So I got on the phone.

“Hey buddy – what’s going on?”

“Mom, Dad took my allowance away for FIVE weeks!”

His brother chimed in from the couch “J – it was SIX weeks.”

We’re so supportive around our house.

“What did you do, pumpkin?”

“I cut the headphone wires with the fingernail clippers and now Dad said I have to pay for them out of my own allowance.”

Creative, this one.

“Was it fun?”


“Was it ‘lose your allowance for six weeks fun’?”

“No. And that’s not all, Mom.”  The hysteria began to rise in his voice.  “He’s making us do our homework FIRST when we get home from school instead of getting to play for an hour and then doing our work.  He doesn’t know how we do things.  Tell him, Mom, tell him what to do!”

Dad got back on the phone.

“I need the A team back.  Everything was going great until the allowance thing.  That’s when he said ‘I WANT MY MOMMY!’

“And what did you say?” I asked.

“I said,  ‘I DO, TOO!'”.

Have a nice day.


25 responses to “Meanwhile, back at the ranch

  1. Oh, those daddies. All fun and games until someone loses their allowance.

    And can I tell you how excited I get when I hear of other people’s kids doing strange things with fingernail clippers.

  2. I’ve gotten so many of those kinds of calls in January and February when I work Saturdays. Not so much now, but when Dylan was smaller. I’d walk in the door to hear hubby say “I’m glad you’re finally home because I’m just not doin’ it right.”

  3. Hilarious! It’s always good for the dads to need the moms to come home…

    But..its always good when mom gets to go away and have fun with her friends!

    I love your blog. Haven’t told you in awhile…thought I would tell you today.

  4. haha with the fingernail clippers? creative

  5. Nothing like going out of town for a few days to make everyone appreciate Mommy! I think it’s time for me to take a little trip…

  6. haha. that turning tricks thing is disturbing out of context.

    also funny, but also wrong.

  7. I love Mom Appreciation Weekends which are usually followed by Thank God You’re Home weeks.

  8. Hmmmm. Sounds akin to purposely doing the laundry “incorrectly” in order to get out of doing it in the future.

    Not that Mr. CPQ would ever do such a thing. 😉

  9. I love your ‘was it fun?’ line of questioning! My husband’s father used to ask him ‘what did you learn from this?’ and it totally drove my husband nuts! Nothing like using psychology on the children! 🙂

  10. Why are dads so unfair? Sometimes it takes a little time away to feel appreciated.

  11. That’s a great story. I’ll have to use that line of questioning the next time one of my boys gets creative…

  12. I’m rollin’.

    What I love is when it sounds like dad is ripping limbs off their actual bodies. He’s not, of course, but you wouldn’t know that from the wails.

    Some how they still view him as the “funnerest” of the 2 parental units. Just doesn’t seem fair.

    And the appreciation from the hubbies….this is why it’s so important to have MANY girl’s weekends away.

  13. Great feeling to be “needed” 🙂

  14. Ah…what can I say? I kinda feel bad for Mr. CPQ. Kinda.

  15. Well, as said before, dads are not moms… but it is good for everyone to have this kind of break (mom is SO appreciated when she comes back!) I loved the question you asked… what a great learning experience! Moms often think dads are too harsh, but they often are training them for the real world in a way that we are reluctant to do. Later in life (maybe even sooner than we hope), everyone has to pay for damages they do, so it is indeed a lesson in the making.
    Love reading your blog always & got teary when I read your comment to my dear daughter on hers.
    Miss you & love you! Hope you can come on Sunday!

  16. I’m laughing hysterically now, but in the back of my mind wondering when and where the missing scissors will turn up.

    He sounds like a young electrical engineer to me.

  17. What would daddies do without mommies? I’m laughing to myself over this one.

  18. I’m thinking if dad had caught him cutting a purse strap with the clippers it would have only been a 3 week punishment.

  19. That made me laugh out loud! I love it! I bet he was ready for you to come home!

  20. You know, I’ve been known to cut various cords, strings, plastic ties, etc. with fingernail clippers. It IS fun. I don’t know why.

  21. Sorry boys! She was with me!!

  22. What would our kids . . .and our hubbies . . . do without us?


  24. it’s ONE weekend, Mr. CPQ! 😉

    It just goes to show that the world is so much sweeter b/c of MOMMIES! 🙂

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