Vienna, and not the Austria kind

The old Suburban is loaded up and I’m gathering the last few important things (like snacks) that we need to get this show on the road.  JJ told me yesterday that he’d packed everything “but my patience, Mom.”

I sent him back in to look for it.

And mine.

I’m accustomed to long car rides from way back.  When I was a youngster, my family would drive from Guatemala  up through Mexico to visit our family in Texas.  By the way, it takes 5 VERY long days to traverse Mexico when you’re in the back of a Fiat separated from your brother by a line of duct tape that has been strategically placed to delineate the exact middle of the seat.

Because that’s important to know when you’re twelve and your brother annoys the snot out of you.

My dad wasn’t one to stop much along the road.  He was what we call an “efficient driver”.  We  only stopped for gas, and one had better take of any and all other needs at that time because we were NOT going to stop again until the needle hit Empty.  (One time I asked to stop to use the “facilities” and he pulled the car over by a cactus field.  That was the last time I asked.)

We tried to eat/snack in the car so as not to waste precious time, and I have fond memories of my mom passing back  peanut butter saltine cracker sandwiches for my brother and I to eat, and sometimes, if she was feeling like sharing for a special treat, she’d hand us a can of Vienna Sausages.

Or as we called them, Vi-eee-ner Weenies.

On one particular trip, we pulled up to the border crossing between Mexico and Guatemala.  It was near noon, and it became quickly apparent that the agents had designs on our stash of snacks, especially the weenies.  They made up some cockamamie story about how Mexico was not going to allow the sausages through because of some trade dispute over canned products, so we were going to have to forfeit them at the border.  My dad was not going to give them the satisfaction of taking our stuff, so he announced that instead of forfeiting them, we would just eat them.

All fourteen cans.

I can still vividly remember smashing those Vi-eeners in between saltines and eating can after can of them.

I thought I was going to hurl.

That reminds me, I still need to pack hurl bags for my carsick kid.

I’m so glad I sat down to write this.

Moving on.

I won’t be packing Vienna’s for the kids today.  Nope, I’ve sworn off potted meat products after the Border Incident.  I’ve got half of Nabisco’s  inventory stashed in the front seat waiting to be handed out.

Now if I could just find  that extra patience that’s gone missing…

Have a nice day.


26 responses to “Vienna, and not the Austria kind

  1. Vienna sausages just scream 1970’s to me! My mom used to buy them for my dad and I would gag whenever he ate a can. However, I had no problem mixing a little mustard and vinegar with a can of potted meat and eating that.

    Nothing defines a decade like beef tripe!

  2. Have a great trip! Being an only, I always had the backseat and the snacks all to myself so no good stories to share. My hubby’s family has tons though. They did a 3 week roundtrip from Indiana to California in a station wagon in the late 70’s. They say they were the original Griswolds. Sorry I missed that. If you pass through southern IN…honk and wave!

  3. I have such fond memories of school lunches and vienna sausages, but that may have just ruined them for me forever! 🙂 That is hilarious!

    Hope you have a great trip and are able to blog for the road. BTW, it turns out that we are NOT travelling this weekend and will be around the area, but I don’t know if you still want to try and hook up in passing.

  4. When we travel, each kid has a snack bag with different goodies (i.e. chips, banana, skittles, etc.). The older kids have their bag with them, once it’s gone, it’s gone…I keep the younger kids’ bags with me, because the 5 year old would eat hers all at one time, then proceed to kick my seat until I threw some more food at her.

    Have a great trip…although I’m not sure how that’s going to happen without Vienna sausages. 😉 ( Your dad sounds like my kinda guy!!)

  5. Ahh….Vie-eeee-ner sausages. My love language.

    Sadly, I now only use them for fish bait.

    Have a good time on the trip. Are you mobile blogging?

  6. yes, canned meat. whatever happened to it? is it still there on the shelves?? no sausages here, but potted meat for sure. and that chicken “salad.” i’m sure it’s gross, but it would be fun to eat to bring back memories. maybe i’ll go buy a can today! my dad ate sardines with saltines out of the can. ewwww. i think i tried them, but i wouldn’t now. have a great trip. i’ll pray that your patience catches up with you when you need it most….and just when you think it is gone for good!

  7. I haven’t thought about Vienna sausages in a long time. Whenever I saw them in the pantry I knew my dad must be going fishing soon because he always took those on fishing trips. Just like whenever I saw my mom cooking fishsticks I knew a babysitter was coming. Some people use words or even smoke, apparently my family sent signals with food.

    I look forward to our usual road calls.

  8. I was just thinking about you all eating 14 cans of Vienna sausages at one (gag) time. Your dad really showed them, didn’t he? 😉

  9. aw that’s nasty . . . i cant believe he made you eat them all!

    ps – have a great trip!

  10. Oh, you’re making my stomach turn. The thought of canned meat makes me sick. My friend would eat 2 cans every day for lunch while I had PB & J. She was a weird friend.

  11. “Nope, I’ve sworn off potted meat products after the Border Incident.”

    So do the boys enjoy good potted meat products (Dr. Oxymoron … paging Dr. Oxymoron …), or does Mr. CPQ have to go at it alone to satisfy his Spam munchies?

  12. I think this may be my favorite car story ever…

  13. Have a wonderful time!!! 🙂

  14. I can’t stop laughing over the Vienna sausages…all 14 cans! I think your dad is awesome! What a great story. Sorry it made you want to hurl, though.

    I am sure your road trip now will be problem-free. 😉 Especially b/c there are no cactus fields. lol

  15. Oh. My. Goodness!!!!!!! That is SO funny!!!!!

    You know that is probably the guard’s favorite story to tells in the cantina on Saturday nights when he is feeling nostalgic about his glory days…

  16. Ok…so as funny as this story is, it is even funnier to a sistuh MK. Because those missionary dads were some serious drivers, now weren’t they? My dad wouldn’t stop for anything. Like nada. He used to say he was on a “mission.” HA.HA.

    And vi-eee-nees make me smile. Not because I’m a fan of potted meat, but because they just remind me of happy.

    So stinkin’ excited that you are coming my way, I can hardly stand it.

  17. Teared up a little laughing over that story. My babysitter let my daughter eat two cans of vienna sausages once and I thought I would hurl. I think one can is supposed to be two servings! Have a great trip!

  18. Hilarious! The thought, especially the smell, of those little weiners makes me a little nauseated, though.

    Good luck on the patience thing.

  19. If you find that patience, let me know!! I could use some and I’m not even on a road trip!!

    Glad you are coming our way!! Looking forward to Pizza Shacking with ya!!

  20. I was fondly reminiscing of my potted meat eating days as a kid (specifically Vienna Sausages, deviled ham, and fried Spam) until I got the part about you eating 14 cans.

    And then I threw up a little in my mouth.

    Right before I fell on the floor laughing.

    No Vi-eee-ner left behind is a good motto to live by.

  21. That amuses me to no end. I have such fond memories of Vienna sausages too. Except we called them Vi-en-eeee Sausages. My grandparents owned a little mom & pop store/gas station and those were a special treat for us grandkids to eat for lunch…right off the store shelves.

  22. I think I would like your dad.

    We ate Vienna sausages, (we pronounced it “Vyyy-Ana”) when we went fishing. I can remember the smell of them mixed with the scent of Ivory dish detergent. Mama took it with us so we could wash our hands after handling bait. You can’t eat potted meat without good hygiene.

  23. The only things that should be potted are plants.

    I unfortunately got a whiff of Viennas a couple of weeks ago when someone on my husband’s side of the family offered them to me (open and wafting) as if it were a delicacy. No thanks, I prefer wet dog food.

  24. Your post was funny, the comments are hillarious.

    We used to have viennas during the summer when we were camping with my grandparents. My favorite long car trip snack as a kid was pringles. My mom and dad didn’t believe in junk food so chips were rarely found in our house. Pringles on a car trip were heavenly. LOL

    Hope you guys have a fun and safe trip.

  25. FOURTEEN CANS?!?!?!?!

    can’t believe you lived to tell the tale!

  26. Don’t they have, like, some sort of gel around them for preserving? Or is that just my memory messing with me.

    My dad’s favorite saying was, “We just ate!”, even if we had gone 500 miles. So, I’m making up for lost time. 🙂

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