I’m interrupting my travel series this week with a little something honest different.
I’ve been at home with Travis for the bulk of this week while his brothers have enjoyed some time playing at Grammy Camp in the mountains.
Mr. CPQ has been busier than usual at work, so that’s left me with a lot of time on my hands to clean, catch up on old episodes of General Hospital Meet the Press, and generally enjoy the quiet that comes with having only one child in the house.
I’ve discovered that I don’t do well with quiet.
Quiet can sometimes take my mind to a place where it doesn’t need to go.
The place where Overwhelmed, Fear, and Quiet Desperation reside.
It’s been a tough couple of days. I could blame some of it on post-vacation re-entry to the real world, but coming home hasn’t been the only culprit.
The truth is, I’ve been stuck looking at Tomorrow.
It’s something that’s easy for me to do, and I have to make a conscious effort to keep my eyes on Today and Now.
I talked to Whimzie a couple of days ago when I was about to go to a really ugly place, and, as she is wont to do, she talked me off the ledge with (among other things) this thought:
“Try to remember that we don’t have to do the future today. Just Tuesday.”
That’s been rolling around in my head since she said it, and I woke up yesterday with renewed determination to fight back those thoughts that steal my joy. It was an okay day, though I was still feeling a little low.
Low, that is, until prayer time with Travis.
Usually I pray over the boys at bedtime, but my heart was heavyish last night and I didn’t really have it in me. We snuggled in, nose to nose, and I asked him to pray.
Thank you for this good day. Thank you that I got to go walking at Kroger. We were out of Honeycombs and orange juice. Thank you that I got Chocolate Lucky Charms. Thank you that my brothers are coming back. I missed them very much.
There was so much joy in his voice and an eagerness to talk to his Creator. He didn’t focus on the what-if’s of his life. He focused on the Now.
Gratefulness for life.
Gratefulness for food.
Gratefulness for family.
And this teary mom breathed her own prayer.
A prayer of thanks for the words of a child.
A prayer of thanks for the work of a Saviour.
A prayer of thanks for worry He removes.
And she got off the bed, wiped the tears from her eyes, and once again found the peace in knowing that He holds today in His very capable hands.
And He holds tomorrow.
Have a nice day.