Ask Trapper Sus, M.D.

You asked for it, you got it, Toyota.

The under thirty year olds won’t get that.


Gretchen asked, “How do you schedule posts and/or writing time for posts?  Are you a fan of the autopost?”

You know, I used to set aside a little time on Sunday afternoons to sketch out some ideas for posts for the week to get a head start.  I also used to have naturally brown hair and toned legs, but that’s another story. Then I decided that naps were a whole lot more fun, so I switched to writing my posts at night after the kids went to bed.  Then I switched to writing them at midnight so that I could sit on the couch and veg with Mr. CPQ in the evenings, and while that was fine while the kids were out of school and I could sleep past 6 a.m., it hasn’t worked so well now that they’re back in.

I have toyed with posting in the mornings this week and I’m finding that I’m really not awake enough to be witty, so I’m going to go back to evenings, except this time I’m taking my laptop with me into the living room.

This is basically a long and rambling way to say I don’t really schedule time to write and I try to strike when the spirit moves.  I do use autopost frequently and it’s my favorite thing since sliced bread.

Gretchen also asked, “If you could be one of your favorite TV characters for a day, who would it be and why?”

Hands down, I’d be Sydney Bristow so I could kick some serious bootay AND smooch on Michael Vartan.


And I love my husband.

Just to clarify.

Sally asked, “Are you still FLYing?  How do you stay inspired to FLY and not get overwhelmed?”

Sally, I am really really trying to keep the house in order, but I wouldn’t say that I’m officially FLYing.  “Fluttering” might be a better word for it.

Like the wounded duck that’s about to eek out his last quack in this cruel, cruel, world.

Housekeeping has never been my strong suit, though I have learned that it’s a skill that can be acquired, and I’m putting one foot in front of the other to keep the clutter at bay.  That being said, it doesn’t help that I have little ones that go behind me delighted to find a clear space in which they can spread their Legos and army men all over and recreate the invasion at Normandy.

I have a little secret that I’m going to let you in on that helps me keep my house in order.

I invite my neighbors over frequently.

There’s nothing like knowing the gossipy Italian grandmother is going to pop in for a cup of coffee that gets my patootie in gear faster.

Stephanie asked, “What is an authentic recipe from your childhood that you remember from your childhood down south?  Did I mention easy?”

There’s nothing easier than the tortilla, Steph, and that’s something that I could eat daily if I could find a place that makes a decent one.  Tortillas in Guatemala are thicker than they are here, and they’re exclusively made of corn.

Get thee to a Walmart and buy a bag of Maseca (masa harina) and follow the simple directions for making your own.  If you have a tap water and a cast iron skillet, you’re in business.

You’ll never go back to storebought again.

Tracey asked, “If you were going to a family reunion (on your husband’s side)…and most of the folks there had not seen you since baby number two…and the ones that have seen you, haven’t seen you since you shed 25+ pounds…what would you wear? (especially considering that in this hypothetical question, you are a blue jeans / sweatshirt kind of girl.) Oh yeah, and let’s just say that this reunion is in Georgia and just might be 3 weeks away.”

Oh dear, a fashion question, and I’ve already turned in my girl card.  Tracey, if I had shed over 25 pounds (and you GO, girl), I’d wear something that showed it off.

Because I’m shallow that way.

On a serious note, if I’m going to be around family, I want to be comfortable, yet still look nice.  I am a fan of the jean, and I like these from the GAP because they aren’t a “skinny” jean and they elongate the leg.  And instead of a sweatshirt, I’d throw on a casual sweater like this one.  Adding some colorful jewelry or lipstick will keep it from being blah, and you’re still wearing jeans and soft material, but it looks chic.

Hope asked, “If we were to attempt this cross-country-in-an-RV trip next summer, what are the things we shouldn’t miss? My 10 year-old daughter seems to think that the Mall of America, with an American Girl doll store in it, should be included. My 12 year-old son can’t believe he might have to spend 3 weeks with his family in an RV.”

Hope, I’m so jealous of you!!!  I would have loved to do the RV thing on this last trip, but just couldn’t get my ducks in a row quick enough.  There’s so much to see, that I don’t even know where to start.  I would love for you to head out to the western part of the country and tell ME what I need to see.  Our next big trip is going to be in that area and I’m aiming at Santa Fe, Taos, Colorado, Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, and Yellowstone/Yosemite (whichever is closer to where I am).


That’s a CPQ rule on our road trip (unless we’ve run through all of our movies and need to pick up a new one).

The other rule we have is that we can’t eat at places we could eat at home.

Eat local.


But not THIS local.

Time to go check my squirrel traps.

Have a nice day.


18 responses to “Ask Trapper Sus, M.D.

  1. All those national parks in Southwest Utah are what I’m dying to see!

    I’m a Flybaby, also. It’s the only thing that stands between me and utter squalor.

    Funny – no one ever asks me what to wear….can’t imagine why…

  2. “Time to go check my squirrel traps.”

    There’s a sentence you never thought you’d write.

    I’d love to have a video of your reaction if/when you actually find something in the trap. BTW, be prepared to find anything but a squirrel in the trap.

    And whatever it is, it won’t be happy.

  3. I love your road trip rules! If you go to Colorado, you should stop at Focus on the Family – they have lots of fun stuff for the kids (I worked there for a summer . . .) anyways, i hope the squirrel tastes delicious (I cant imagine it wouldn’t!)

  4. I agree about home-made tortillas. They are the best.

    And Focus in Colorado is pretty awesome. Air Force Academy is also there. I love Colorado!

  5. You are so very cool! I wish I had your fashion sense…I have totally forgotten how to shop!

    I appreciate you taking the time to enable my neediness. 😀

    My family took an RV trip out west when I was 17. We drove from central Florida to Los Angeles and back. One of my favorite stops…a REAL Mexican restaurant in El Paso, TX. (The whitewater rafting in Colorado was a close second!)

    Have a great weekend!

  6. The only FLYthings I still do are the 5 Minute Room Rescue – you can do anything for 5 minutes, and Throw Away/Donate 3 Things. Oh, and regularly scheduled donation pick-ups keep the detritus at a minimum. Before ImNotNed chimes in here to mock me on this topic…and I thank him daily for it…I outsource the rest of the cleaning. I’m surprising myself in sharing this publicly because part of me is embarrassed but it (superwoman complex rearing its ugly head here), but it’s really one of my better decisions to maintain sanity.

  7. To go with the miscellaneous nature of your post today, I had a dream about you last night, that I came to visit you and you made us crawfish etoufee. It was great and you were just as funny IRL as you are via the computer screen. Just wish it had really happened. 😉

    And thanks for the fun comment yesterday. I smiled when I thought about you getting the news at the gym. Love it!

  8. Seriously, you have a gossipy Italian grandmother for a neighbor? I think that would be a hoot 🙂 Thanks for a peak into your life.

  9. I was going to be all clever, but I got all gaga about Vartan.

    *high five*

  10. Trapper Sus, MD?! TOO FUNNY…

    AND, I totally got the Toyota slogan…and I’m under 30 (wink wink wink if you take away 5 years, I am).

    I always love reading more about you..but moreso what you’ll come up with in response to these questions!!

  11. Oh, how I lurved Trapper John, MD. I used to watch it in our “loft” with my mom on Sunday nights, I think. That Gonzo. What a babe.

    Oh…right. The other answers were good, too. And I think it’s perfectly acceptable to have a 2nd husband like Michael Vartan. I may be giving up on Phil and giving that coveted role to Jon Hamm pretty soon. He’s delicious.

    I have lots of places to tell you about in CO, after having lived there for 23 years. However, I’d prefer that you’d scrap your West itinerary and come to the NW again. Family in tow.

  12. Whenever you make it to Hoover Dam let me know & we can have lunch. 🙂

  13. When we’re on trips, we’re not allowed to eat anything we could eat at home either.

    And ugh…your squirrels are making me a little woozy.

  14. Speaking of all things Rambaldi…you notice my daughter is named Sydney, right? Love me some Alias!!

  15. Already told you he’s super cute, but too short for you…I’m thinking 5’9 will have to go look at the pics I think Phil is taller than he is, but Phil is 5’10″…he’s SOOOOOO sweet though….its been 7 years since I”ve seen him so I hope he’s still down to earth…

    Have you seen him on HawthoRN?

  16. I miss Alias so much. I’d be Sydney, too! She rocked.

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