10 Things

Ten things to do when your husband calls and gives you half-day notice to expect overnight guests.

In your house.

That vaguely resembles war-torn Beirut.

1. Panic.

2.  Panic some more.

3.  Remember that Bible verse about not using bad language.

4.  Briefly consider sinning boldly so that grace may abound.

5.  Wonder if the toothpaste stripes on the bathroom wall could be considered room decor.

6.  Scream.

7.  Wish you had cleaned house in the last three months days.

8.  Consider torching down the house and blaming the squirrels that still live in the attic.

9.  Text your husband and threaten to withhold all physical affection for the next ten years give him the opportunity to reconsider.

10. Kick it into gear.

My house is sparkling clean now.

I’m going to go have a nice day.

19 responses to “10 Things

  1. You deserve a nice day.

    I’m proud of you.

  2. Niiiice. I hope the day is nice, indeed. And rest assured, my house isn’t company ready, but we have friendly Clorox wipes containers in each room. By the hand sanitizer.

  3. Urgh.

    Hopefully the overnighters are worth the time and effort. If so, then hooray. If not, I’d go for the withholding physical affection thing. Because the company better be worth the scrubbage of toothpaste stripes and man-boy toilets.

    Just sayin’.

  4. you are a good wife. i wish i had a wife.

  5. Don’t you love spending your time on something that ‘self destructs’ the minute you finish ….

    I wonder often why I clean … isn’t the definition of a crazy person, ‘doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results’.

    I ask, will the place EVER be neat all at the same time.

  6. Oh I’ve so been there! Nothing like really good incentive to clean.
    And just think he’ll owe you big time for awhile. 🙂

  7. Ha! I’m a fan of shoving it all in closets, drawers, and under the bed myself. And only a nosy house guest would ever look there. But at least you’ll have a clean house for a little bit!

  8. Isn’t there some sort of physics equation where the amount of time required to clean is inversely proportional to the amount of time before guests arrive?

  9. And you planted flowers too? You are amazing!

  10. My house is almost never surprise-company-ready. So, if we have surprise company, I guess the surprise is really on them!

  11. 4. Briefly consider sinning boldly so that grace may abound.

    *proud to call you friend*


  13. I practically run a hotel at my house, so I feel your pain! Seriously…I have swallowed my pride many times and simply said to guests, “A real family lives here…welcome!”
    Guests are more understanding than we imagine. We are many times too hard on ourselves. Besides…the house from which they came is probably not BH&G either.
    Hospitality is an attitude of the heart, not the cleanliness of the bathroom. I would much rather put my feet up at your house and hear one of your funny stories amidst clutter than feel the coldness of brick and mortar in a pristine environment!
    Have a great weekend…and enjoy your company!

  14. Good for you! I’ve simply gotten used to boldly stating, ” I’m sorry, but I do truly live in filth.”

    Have a great weekend!

  15. Oh my goodness! This is just FUNNY!! What better way to get your house clean though. I always get things done more efficiently in a crunch. Maybe not THAT crunched though:)

  16. Niiiiiice. I actually love short-notice guests because it gives me less time to stress over their arrival. My mother hangs a plaque on her door that reads “My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it.”

  17. you are cracking me up!

  18. Be SO thankful that you had a half day. Last Tues. night we had a 10p.m. knock on our door from an Ohio friend here on quick business. Thankfully a very good friend who has children and understands why my house was as it was and we all looked ready for an early bedtime. Yep….that’s my life! 🙂

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