The long and winding road

I spent some time going through the blog archives last night to pull together a retrospective on 2009 and laughed and cried all over again at some of the places, emotionally and physically, that I visited this year.  Truth be told, this last year was a weird one for me.  It was a year where I look back and I don’t see a lot of change in my immediate surroundings – I’m in the same house, with the same husband and children, with the same stains on the carpet and the same box in the corner that I can’t seem to muster the energy to sort through and toss – but it was also a year in which I gained new maturity, new friends, new skills, and a newfound appreciation for my colorist.

Even though the growth has been welcome and I’m leaving the year a little more comfortable in my own skin, I’m also ending the year still wrestling with vines that have entangled themselves around my life and need to be pruned.  Pruning is painful, paradoxically cutting away things that are either alive or dead to enable vigorous new growth.   Pruning, in my case, requires opening a gate hinge that,truthfully, is a little rusty so the Gardener can come in and do what He does best.

As I’ve been cleaning house this week and ruminating over what my resolutions need to look like in the New Year, one theme has consistently resonated.

I want to take the extra step.

If I took the extra step, so many things would be different.  The platter from the dishwasher would go into the cabinet instead of sitting on the counter.  The thirty minutes on the treadmill would turn into 35, then 40. The boys would get more than an absent-minded mother; they would get my real attention. My friends would get a phone call, not just a passing thought in my mind wondering how they were. 

My Savior would get my time, not just my intention.

I cannot walk without the entangling vines being stripped away.  So I’m asking God to prune me.  That’s a dangerous prayer to pray and I hesitate putting it in print, but I don’t want to be in a chokehold any more.

I want to breathe.

I want to grow.

I want to become what He intends me to be.

I want to be used for His purpose.

I’m looking forward to the places God will lead my feet as I step out in faith to experience what He has for me. I’m grateful for your friendship along the path…you make the sketchy places a little less scary and the rest stops a lot more fun.

Are you ready?

Let’s hit the road.

Have a nice day.

28 responses to “The long and winding road

  1. I’m ready, babe. And I think we both look great with a few bruises and scratches. To go with our hairapy, of course. Beautifully said.

  2. I’m ready too! I haven’t been in a Bible study since the spring, and I’m really missing it. I need some accountability. And between sick kids and being out of town, we haven’t been to SS in what seems like forever. This is rough time of year when schedules are off. New year, new beginnings, right? Thanks for this post.
    Happy New Year to you! 🙂

  3. Not sure if I’m ready, but I’m willing. :>) Great post. I love the picture of the vines.

  4. I said something similar on my latest post…I’ve been in a pretty nasty funk as of late, though, so I know that it was hardly as encouraging as was your post! I’m getting there, but today life is tough – even though I know this life lasts but a moment, but times like these – as you know – can feel like forever. Oh well…on to 2010! 🙂

    Have a great new year that is full of new experiences and new growth!

  5. Yes! You’ve SO inspired me today. Thanks, CPQ.
    Here’s to 2010 and the extra step!

  6. Super challenging words today, friend. Just what I needed to hear on this last day of ’09.

  7. averagemoreorless

    I admire your courage. I’ve been feeling the same, but too scared to actually voice that prayer. Blessedly, I’ve got friends who challenge and push me. I’d be happy to count you among them.

  8. I’m ready. As long as we get to stop at the random Dairy Queen along the way.

    Just sayin’

  9. I too am so ready!

  10. Been praying about something since early fall, but more so the last few days… perhaps this is the way the Gardener is giving the go-ahead for me. Bible study for a small group at my house beginning…? Anyone interested?

  11. Love it! The Lord is so good- his pruning is so right- and His heart is so big. He really does know what’s best, doesn’t he? Well spoken.

  12. I love this post!! Thanks for sharing your heart – and I’m been blessed by you and your words this year – I’m looking forward to following your journey next year too!

  13. Great post, CPQ. You’ve eloquently put into words what’s been rolling around in my head for some time.

  14. In spite of my friend, Candace’s, recommendations, I hesitated to jump on the CPQ band wagon. I hate band wagons.

    But you have connected with me this time, CPQ. I think I will bookmark this post.

    Thank you.

    Kayla Rupp

  15. “My Savior would get my time, not just my intention.”

    The whole post is beautifully written and soul-searching. This line hit me hardest. Yes, it is a dangerous, scary prayer to pray, but imagine what is on the other side of the answer.

    I’m game.

  16. Awesome. Properly pruned roses, bushes, trees produce much more fruit!
    Very exciting to see how God will make your life more beautiful this year.

  17. What a beautiful post! It is true for all of us. Have a great day.

  18. I’m ready. It’s so nice to have a friend to hit the road with. What a wild ride it will be 😉

  19. Pruning is so hard. I feel as if I have been hacked at and sawed on for far too long.
    May your prune job be swift and successful.
    Thanks for the laughs and the wisdoms this year. It’s been an honor to get to know you.
    O mom
    also known as O
    also known as Oprah ( ha! )

  20. I love that….taking the extra step. Me too…I want to take the extra step in so many areas.

    Happy New Year CPQ!

  21. Beautiful, friend.

  22. Loved this post! A great reminder that we all need pruning in order for us to grow.

    Thanks for all the laughs, tears and encouragement in 2009! Happy New Year.

  23. I’m in the same place…needing to take that extra step. Your post is an inspiration.

  24. Spiritual poetry. Good stuff.

  25. oh my gracious…I am SO ready.

    Even when the next step is right into a mud puddle or a seemingly bottomless pit…

    Precious words from my precious friend…thank you.

  26. I’m getting my “stepping” shoes on right now.

    You spoke my heart’s desire in this post and you spoke it better than I could have.

    Prayers for us all, as we run the race to win.

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