1. It is not a good idea to bake and eat bread with four year old freezer-burned flour as its main ingredient.
2. On a cold, zero humidity winter’s day while jamming out to ABBA Led Zeppellin on my earbuds, it is not a good idea to remove my fleece jacket, thereby discharging static electricity into my ear canal.
3. If people are looking at me kinda’ funny all day, it could be because they’re admiring my fabulous new eyebrow wax job, but chances are it’s because I have my sweater on inside out.
4. That I should not complain about the carpet installers being delayed until this week because God knew that stomach contents would be ejected and blood would spill. On more than one occasion.
5. That I should not to give my cat shrimp shells upon which to gnaw (see #4).
6. The kitchen is not going to mop itself.
7. That it doesn’t take too much to send me falling off the back of the New Year’s Bandwagon.
8. That I can over-analyze a Girl Scout Cookie order.
9. That I am not technically capable of operating a gaming system that ten year olds play with ease.
10. It takes longer than two hours to cut and color my hair and I should perhaps not schedule hair appointments so close to the school bell.
My children learned about sitting outside on the sidewalk in 35 degree weather.
Have a nice day.