In the last seven days I’ve learned…

1.  It is not a good idea to bake and eat bread with four year old freezer-burned flour as its main ingredient.

2.  On a cold, zero humidity winter’s day while jamming out to ABBA Led Zeppellin on my earbuds, it is not a good idea to remove my fleece jacket, thereby discharging static electricity into my ear canal.

3.  If people are looking at me kinda’ funny all day, it could be because they’re admiring my fabulous new eyebrow wax job, but chances are it’s because I have my sweater on inside out.

4.  That I should not complain about the carpet installers being delayed until this week because God knew that stomach contents would be ejected and blood would spill.   On more than one occasion.

5.  That I should not to give my cat shrimp shells upon which to gnaw (see #4).

6.  The kitchen is not going to mop itself.

7.  That it doesn’t take too much to send me falling off the back of the New Year’s Bandwagon.

8.  That I can over-analyze a Girl Scout Cookie order.

9.  That I am not technically capable of operating a gaming system that ten year olds play with ease.

10.  It takes longer than two hours to cut and color my hair and I should perhaps not schedule hair appointments so close to the school bell.

My children learned about sitting outside on the sidewalk in 35 degree weather.

Have a nice day.

18 responses to “In the last seven days I’ve learned…

  1. Wow, Sus! This was a graduate-level week! Except, I take issue with #8. I’m not sure you can over-analyze an event that only happens once a year and has such great consequences if you don’t get it right.

  2. for good or bad, I can identify with way too many of these!

  3. I just glad #5 was about the cat.

    I totally relate to #9… except that it’s a 6 year old at my house.

  4. shew. that’s a LOT for just 7 days! did you at least come out w/ an associate’s degree or something??!!

  5. This week I learned that making fire is not one of my spritual gifts. Which comforts me. Because the Lord will never give me anything that I can’t handle. So this must mean that I will never be stranded on an island. Good news for me.

  6. Funny! How horrible would it have been to have #4 on your brand spankin new carpet?! So glad the install was delayed, what a blessing in disguise.

  7. It’s a good thing we don’t live close to each other. We could be a danger to society.

  8. I think a long hot bubble bath is in order.

    But c’mon you must have laughed out loud at some of these…too funny.

    The prospect of not ordering enough Thin Mints might just make me a little over analytical too.


  9. So glad to hear I am not alone in my ordering process of the cookies. They’re not cheap and everybody has their favorites around here, and it can take awhile. right?

  10. I am practicing restraint to avoid 7 by not going near any girl scout cookies. It is a sad, sad thing. I’m also wondering if you are done with the cat, because your stories are really making me stand firm with my no pet policy.

  11. When we went back for Xmas to CO, I never discharged so much static electricity in my life. Everywhere I went, I was apologizine for shocking someone (for I am a toucher), and shocking myself all too often. Fleece is a major culprit, btw. Kinda fun at night time, watching the blankets spark. I’m sure it’s safe, though.

  12. RE: #8 In the event you should not order enough thin mints, I ran across this little recipe from another blog friend who had the link to the recipe. I haven’t tried it, but it looks easy. Has anyone ever made these?

  13. We never stop learning.

    Analyzing any sort of cookie order is perfectly reasonable.

  14. #6 just cant be true . . . I’m holding out hope

  15. I sure do wish the floor would mop itself. Self-mopping floors. That’s an idea…

  16. you can freeze flour?? seriously??

  17. Re: #8 You can never order too many.. & if it’s not enough, remember they will be at every grocery/KMart/book store, etc. standing outside for you to buy more. I only get the thin mints & freeze them. Unfortunatly , they are just as tasty right out of the freezer, no thawing necessary, thank you, ma’am.

  18. Oh, bummer about the 35 degree weather. Just tell the kids it builds character. Or something.

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