Some of the best lines are from my neighbor

My neighbor’s Facebook status updates make my day, and today I’m hoping they make yours.  Here are just a few from this past week that have made me laugh out loud.

  • I finally bought a coffee maker…that was the easy part b/c I know how to buy stuff, but now what do I do with it??
  • I also bought a new bathroom mirror and made the mistake of looking at the side that is magnified 5 times….unfortunately, the only thing on me that looks good 5x larger is my engagement ring.
  • I have made 4 pots of coffee today….not so much because I wanted to drink it, but simply because it’s so rewarding to do something in the kitchen that doesn’t set off the smoke alarm.
  • I am starting to get the hang of this coffee-making stuff…not so much how to make a decent cup but I am learning that 5 packets of equal & hazelnut creamer does a good job of masking my incompetence.
  • I am getting my car back today. The economy loaner car wasn’t too bad except there were no buttons on the key to remotely unlock the car or at least make it chirp….it’s almost like I was expected to remember where I parked the thing.
  • If a kid is terrified of the dentist, maybe wheeling in 2 tanks of nitrous oxide with a long rubber hose attached and forcing a mask with a loud hissing noise onto my daughter’s face wasn’t the best idea.
  • I have decided to watch the new season of ‘The Bachelor’ because it’s the only time where I can watch 25 girls who are young, pretty & in great shape and still feel really good about myself!
  • I think the mailman should use a little professional judgment before putting a Victoria’s Secret catalog in my mailbox.

And my personal favorite…..

  • I would have slept a lot better bundled up with a scarf around my neck…but why even tempt the husband like that??

I love having funny friends –

Have a nice day.

P.S. Happy Birthday to my brother Paul.  I am incredibly blessed to be your little sister.


22 responses to “Some of the best lines are from my neighbor

  1. oh how I wish I had a funny neighbor! such fun!

  2. haha those are funny 🙂 I love witty status updates. And hate boring ones. Or the worst are the ones that dont use punctuation or anything and take me reading them 5 times or so before I even understand what they’re saying . . .

  3. What?! There are 2 hilarious people on that street?!

  4. You need to hook her up with some Timmy H! That’s always good coffee.

    Next time I’m in town, will you introduce me to this neighbor? She’s a scream!

  5. Oh, she’s a funny one, that neighbor of yours.

    Do y’all do that whole Tim the Tool Man/Al thing? Over the fence guffawing and such? If totally should. And invite me to watch.

  6. She so funny. Peoples minds amaze me. I totally agree with the Bachelor one. 🙂

  7. You’re lucky : )

    My favorite line from The Bachelor this week I think was Vienna saying, “I’ve been searching my whole life for this.” She is 23.

  8. She is a crack up! She should have a blog. I’d follow her. 🙂

  9. See, I need more funny people in my life!

  10. Would she like to be my FB friend? I could use some funny. I tend to mostly have whiny or braggy…

  11. Laughed out loud on that last one! 🙂

  12. Now THAT girl deserves a catagory all her own over at New Every Morning’s facebook post….

    “Strangers Want to Be Your “Friend” Cause You’re So Darn Funny” Catagory.


  13. Hey Hondurus,

    Do you like how I spelled *catagory*?? Should probably let you know I do know that it’s *category*, but the mucus must be messing with my typing/thinking skills this AM….

    Your Phlegmy Phriend

  14. Is she accepting friends? Or, neighbors? 😉

  15. Too funny! I’ll bet y’all have a lot of fun together. By the way, is no one else amused that one of he bachorlette’s names is Vienna? All I can think of is canned sausages. Sorry!

  16. Hilarious!

    The Victoria Secret and the scarf were my favorites!

  17. NewEveryAM has 1 hilarious neighbor… she must have forgotten!

  18. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  19. Funny.Funny.Stuff.

    I want to friend her just for daily laughs!

  20. Those were hysterical!

  21. She sounds like good people to me.

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