At the Art Museum

Heather called me Tuesday with a plan for us to get out of the house disguised as an educational opportunity for the children.  She suggested that we take them to the NC Museum of Art and after I hyperventilated about corralling seven children running amok amidst priceless works of art, I decided the worst that could happen would be that we’d get kicked out and since I’m sure the paintings were highly insured admission was free, no big deal.

I informed the boys that we would be going to see cool stuff like a real! live! sarcophagus! and they scrunched their noses because apparently I was interrupting their scheduled time to play Club Penguin with friends with whom they had spent the previous seven hours at school.  I may or may not have threatened to torch their computer given a little lecture about the decline of cultural literacy and my speech must have been effective because they assured me they were on board with the whole plan so off we went to the museum.

We were met at the entrance by a security guard and I’d like to think he was just being polite to hold the door open for me instead of passing judgement on the children who may or may not have been sporting some wet feet because they were playing in the shooting water garden near the outdoor bronze reproduction of The Thinker. I’m thinking it wasn’t such a great idea for them to have a feature which allows kids to get soaking wet before walking into a building, but, hey, that’s just me.

The kids loved the museum with its white shiny walls and tall ceilings that helped create wonderful echo effects.  They loved the Pop Art section’s painting of a vortex and grabbed a floating wall to avoid being sucked into the black hole.  The security guard loved to be of service to show them how the floating wall could, indeed, float and that it might not be a good idea to do that.

We sailed right along into Ancient Egypt where the kids oohed and aahed over the sarcophagus and the security guard choked and gurgled and looked like she was about to have a heart attack from the pressure of having to protect King Whatshisname from the ravages of feral children.  I wanted to tell her that there was a box conveniently waiting for her right there under glass, but she didn’t look like the type of person who would appreciate my brand of humor so we moved on.

There were so many beautiful things to see inside and I’m sure we would have gotten to them had not the kids spied an outdoor body of water with room to run around it.  By this point, Heather and I felt we’d hissed whispered “Don’t touch that!” one too many times so we just sat outside and let them play to their heart’s content while we let our adrenaline levels normalize.

We decided the security guards kids had experienced enough for the day and we celebrated not landing on the eleven o’clock news by heading to Loco Pops and I got a  pomegranate-tangerine and a mango-chile popsicle that may have changed my life.

And then I went home and collapsed.

Have a nice day.

17 responses to “At the Art Museum

  1. But the question is … did they have wind chimes?

  2. How did I not know about Loco Pops?? I’ve not had the guts to delight the art museum with my crew – you’re brave 🙂

  3. Love Loco Pops. I think I may take my chillen’s there today!

  4. Wouldn’t it be fun to go back today just to see the security guards faces? 😉

  5. I’m glad my boys aren’t the only ones who schedule Club Penguin meetups with their school peeps.

  6. Pomegranate-tangerine sounds yummy!

    At first I thought you were going to say daiquiri…something about that combo screams daiquiri. : )

  7. It sounds like you needed a Bloody Mary rather than a Loco Pop. Just sayin.

  8. Hey, today you could try the new place at Six Forks Station that is giving away free frozen yogurt from 12-7! It has a name, but not imprinted anywhere on my memory apparently.

  9. I love the art museums with the “kid-friendly” zones. This is just their attempt to keep them all corralled and away from the million dollar Monets…I see their sneaky ways disguised as art education.

    Nonetheless, you are a ba.rave woman CPQ, and your cultured children are secretly thanking you.

  10. My mom used to take us to art museums all the time -good for you for taking your kiddos! After Jayci’s tantrum on my lunch date today, I might steer clear of ANY public place for a long time . . .

  11. oh how i love those crazy-beautiful days!! i love a mama who doesn’t back down from crazy….one of a bazillion reasons i love ya!

  12. No worries about the art museum’s security guards. For some reason, the ones at this particular museum are a touch on the hyper side.

    I’ve had to ‘discuss’ life with one of them after they reprimanded one of my little students. I had just given the ‘touch anything and you’ll not live to see another day’ speech to them…we walk into the exhibit, he was simply looking at the rather large clay pot…guard sweeps in on her broom and proceeds to dress him down for touching the 55 inch thick glass surrounding the pot. (ok, I’m exaggerating on the thickness, but the broom part is true ; ) ) He had not touched the glass…at all.

    She might have escaped my wrath, except that his lip started quivering. After I was finished ‘discussing’ life with said guard, she hoppped off her broom and apologized profusely to the little guy.

    Sweet memories. 😀 Good for you for taking your boys. YOU ARE SUPER MOM!

  13. You are brave (?)

    Please add Loco Pops to the list of Things I Want to Do Next Time I Visit.

  14. That about sums up why I haven’t been on a field trip to the art museum yet…

  15. I hate field trips. Fortunately for me, I’ve nearly finished doing time. They usually go w/o me, now. Always felt like I needed a stiff drink after field trips and leading Daisy/Brownie Girl Scouts.

  16. You ARE brave! Katie and I went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art (the Rocky steps) a couple of years ago and I gave her the “there will be nude paintings and statues” warning before we went. She rolled her eyes and said, “I know, mom.” There wasn’t so much. Two days later we went to the Museum of Natural History in NYC, didn’t mess with any warning and oh my goodness! Nekkid ancient people everywhere!

    Just so you know.

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