Dear brothers of mine,
This is your little sister. You remember me, right? The pesky girl who you tormented as we were growing up? The one you dangled the dead rat in front of her face? The one you grilled mercilessly about her boyfriends? The one for whom you bought the radar detector as a graduation present? The one who typed your term paper?
The ONLY sister you have?
I haven’t heard from you since the tornado outbreak on Monday, and I’m assuming that no news is good news however people keep asking me how you are and I would like to tell them something rather than just give a shoulder shrug and say, “Well, you know how boys are; They don’t call unless they have to.”
I would get in touch with you but you all have this pesky little habit of letting phone calls roll to voicemail and not calling back, so I’m calling you out on the Internet and publicly shaming you into calling me and letting me know you’re fine.
And because I know you, in case you have lost my phone number, Mom has it and would be glad to give it to you.
And if you need Mom’s phone number, send me an email and I’ll give it to you.
Your little sister who loves you more than cake.
Have a nice day.