I renewed our handicapped placard registration yesterday. It should have been simple; fill out a form, have it blessed by a medical doctor and head to the DMV to receive the new one. And while the steps to accomplish this task weren’t difficult in and of themselves, the process was hard.
Oh, so hard.
Ten years ago when I got that placard, Travis had already been diagnosed with cerebral palsy but we didn’t know the extent to which it would affect him. I remember hanging the card on the rear view mirror hoping that he would make significant progress and overcome his physical limitations by the time we would need to re-register the card in May, 2010.
It didn’t happen.
We have known for several years now that he has most likely reached his maximum physical capacity on this earth. Our therapists have gently told us that his gait will most likely not improve, that he will not be able to walk unassisted, and his wheelchair will be a constant companion.
So yesterday I turned in our temporary placard for permanent handicapped plates.
And turned in my dream for a reality.
I do not dwell in the land of self-pity. That land is a dangerous one, sucking life, joy, peace, energy and contentment from my soul. I serve a God who has brought me out of that place and set my feet on solid rock. He has promised me an abundant life and a peace that passes all understanding.
But every so often the tentacles of sorrow reach out and drag me into darkness.
I asked for prayer yesterday from a sweet group of friends and the encouragement I received from their prayers helped me lift my head and soldier on and even laugh a little while I was in the DMV parking lot attempting to remove my old license plate and install the new one in the rain without the benefit of a screwdriver.
Use a dime. Works perfectly.
So I’m here this morning to rejoice in new mercies and to affirm that God has set me back on the path of contentment.
I know He loves me.
I know He has a plan for me.
I know His authored plan is perfect and good even though it involves difficult chapters that in my own selfishness I would not have written.
For you see, He also has a dream.
And I bet it’s better than mine.
Have a nice day.