1. Friday morning after the OnStar/Spiderman Incident, I went to the car dealership and showed them my neat trick about how to exit a locked car and after scratching their heads and spending two hours trying to get it open, they came over to me in the waiting room and said “We have no idea how to open your car door.”
Dear Chevy: Your people need a course entitled “Inspiring Confidence In Your Customer”.
He said that they had never seen anything like it (why me, Lord?) and they would have to cut out and replace the entire lock assembly because it was jammed beyond repair and oh, by the way, it would take several hours. “Several” turned out to be EIGHT by the time it was all said and done and that means that I ate breakfast, lunch, and snack out of the vending machine thus breaking my vow to never eat processed food again.
And Slim Jims just ain’t the same at 40 as they were at 19.
2. And now that he’s back in town, I can tell you that Mr. CPQ was away for this entire ordeal.
3. There’s a lot more that I could have written about the above point but this is me showing great restraint.
4. Speaking of Mr. CPQ, I made him watch Hoarders with me yesterday afternoon as payback for having to watch unending coverage of the British Open and after a particularly gripping and compelling story he took it upon himself to remind me that he vowed in sickness and in health but not in crazy.
Maybe it’s a good thing he was gone last week.
5. We had a Sunday School party yesterday afternoon and I need to tell the skinny people to please stop planning pool parties. On the bright side, 90% of the women in the class are bloggers and everyone knew not to take pictures because the rest of us have Internet forums as well and you know what they say about paybacks. The kids had a great time swimming and the adults had a great time visiting and eating pound cake, and you have not lived until you’ve eaten Kimberly’s pound cake which was all kind of delicious but it made me a little sad to eat it because she and her family are up and moving to Texas and we will miss them.
And her cake.
But them more.
Have a nice day.