In which I get a case of the vapors

This morning I asked JJ to take the trash to the curb and as I waited in the idling car for him to finish swinging his light saber to fend off the buzzing flies that accompanied the rolling cart down the driveway, I scrounged through the center console to find some wet wipes so he could clean his hands on the way to school.

I couldn’t readily find them but I spied the first aid kit and thought medicinal wipes would work just as well plus they had the added benefit of killing any germs he might have encountered on the trashcan handle.

Which is why I wasn’t doing this particular chore in the first place.

Besides, it’s a boy job.

Amen.

I pulled out a cleansing packet and opened it up for him, but noticed the towelette was a lot smaller than normal.  I also noticed some small print that said “Keep away from children.”  Thinking that the warning referred to not letting toddlers chew on the pad, I nonetheless decided it might have an off smell that would linger on his hands for the rest of the day so I lifted it to my nose and took a big sniff to check it out.

And proceeded to sear my brain, singe every surface of my sinus cavity and shed tears for the next twenty minutes because I had opened the ammonia inhalant for fainters.

The end.

Have a nice day.

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20 responses to “In which I get a case of the vapors

  1. Oh my! I’m cracking up! I’m laughing with you, not at you. Really!

  2. And then you had to go to the dentist.

    Wonder what’s gonna happen tonight? Bear attack? Giant monkey invasion?

  3. LOL ! ! !

    Well THAT will keep you awake for the day!

  4. OH.MY.WORD.

  5. I haven’t the words…but I, too , have tears…from laughing 😀

  6. hahahaha that’s hilarious my friend 🙂

  7. Never a dull moment at your house is there?

  8. That probably didn’t mesh too well with the visit to the dentist.
    When I was a lifeguard we would break open the ammonia capsules when we were bored. That was probably just as safe as my friend who used to break open mercury thermometers when she was bored working at the doctor’s office.
    Good times, good times.

  9. You made me laugh out loud! I love your stories!

  10. Well now I know that it works!! Thanks for your continued public service, you are doing good work!!

  11. oh NO! what a riot. has your brain recovered yet?

  12. My grandmother would faint during emotional times. We actually owned smelling salts. I know exactly what that little packet smelled like.

  13. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I am laughing so hard right now. Not that you almost fainting is funny or anything….you just crack me up.

  14. Ok, I am really laughing now. I just thought about what I wrote and ammonia does not make you faint! Good thing I have Scott around. I get the shakes even thinking about using a first aid kit.

  15. Good job sniffing that pad before handing it over. 😉 I have learned through sorry experience never to sniff at clothes lying on the floor to see if they may, indeed, still be clean. Simply not worth the likely nose trauma.

  16. BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh, Sus. I needed one!

  17. I can. not. stop. laughing!

  18. I didn’t know they actually made those in this century.

    I thought they quit making them back in the day of Scarlett O’Hara.

    Who knew?

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