Sus, this is your mother. Why haven’t you called me in a week?
I know we talk almost every single day, Mom, but the boys have been on break and they’ve caused me to use up my word allotment by noon and I’m too wiped out to speak. Most of those words used have been futile attempts at conveying the importance of daily showers, but yesterday I actually said “Please stop throwing grapes into your tomato soup to see how far the splash will go.”
Sus, are you taking your vitamins? They’ll keep you healthy and strong, you know.
Well, I’ll take care of the vitamin thing when I come see you next month. What else will we do while we’re there?
Can I count on you to help me clean my microwave?
You’ll definitely need to come with your appetite. Your son-in-law is already thinking of the menu plan and it’s pretty grill-centric. I’m also hoping we’ll do a little outlet shopping and maybe some decorating while you’re here because the decor or lack of it hasn’t changed since the last time you were here.
That sounds like fun. Look, honey, I need to run meet my friends at the hospital cafeteria for lunch because it’s tortilla soup day, but before I go, I need to ask you one last question. Jerseylicious? Really?
I knew you’d have something to say about that, Mom. I promise it was the first and only episode I’d ever seen. I happened to run across it flipping channels and was fascinated by the train wreck. In a way it reminded me a lot of the hair salon back home except without the outrageous accents, the head wagging and the catfights out in the parking lot.
I redeemed those thirty minutes by staying up until 1 a.m. watching Charlie Rose interview President Ahma-however-you-spell-it on PBS last night.
Don’t you feel better now?
I love you, Mom.
Have a nice day.