By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be sitting in a dentist’s chair, hallucinating and hopefully NOT singing Onward Christian Soldiers at the top of my lungs and making untoward remarks to the dentist like I did in my twenties on the occasion of my first exposure to laughing gas.
I’m actually looking forward to getting a little narcotic assistance because I think it’s going to help relieve the pain resulting from a very close encounter I had on Thursday at Kroger as I reached for a heavily discounted pack of Ramen and misjudged the distance between my head and the edge of the shelf.
Shelf 1. Sus 0.
ANYWAY, in honor of Dentist Day, I thought I’d do a little thematic list for 5 on Friday for your amusement and/or edification.
5. The number of cavities I’m getting filled.
4. The number of times this week I’ve considered moving to Mongolia.
3. The number of pieces of nervous cake I’ve eaten. Which may or may not have a direct relationship to number 5 above.
2. The number of crowns I’ll be getting.
1. The number of Valium pills I’ll need to take just to walk through the front door.
Hey, better living through chemistry, right?
Have a nice day.