My Mother Asks Sus

Sus, this is your mother.  Why haven’t you called me in a week?

I know we talk almost every single day, Mom, but the boys have been on break and they’ve caused me to use up my word allotment by noon and I’m too wiped out to speak.  Most of those words used have been futile attempts at conveying the importance of daily showers, but yesterday I actually said “Please stop throwing grapes into your tomato soup to see how far the splash will go.”

Sus, are you taking your vitamins?  They’ll keep you healthy and strong, you know.

Next question.

Well, I’ll take care of the vitamin thing when I come see you next month.  What else will we do while we’re there?

Can I count on you to help me clean my microwave?

Just kidding.

Sorta’.

You’ll definitely need to come with your appetite.  Your son-in-law is already thinking of the menu plan and it’s pretty grill-centric.  I’m also hoping we’ll do a little outlet shopping and maybe some decorating while you’re here because the decor or lack of it hasn’t changed since the last time you were here.

That sounds like fun.  Look, honey, I need to run meet my friends at the hospital cafeteria for lunch because it’s tortilla soup day, but before I go, I need to ask you one last question.  Jerseylicious?  Really?

I knew you’d have something to say about that, Mom.  I promise it was the first and only episode I’d ever seen.  I happened to run across it flipping channels and was fascinated by the train wreck.  In a way it reminded me a lot of the hair salon back home except without the outrageous accents, the head wagging and the catfights out in the parking lot.

I redeemed those thirty minutes by staying up until 1 a.m. watching Charlie Rose interview President Ahma-however-you-spell-it on PBS last night.

Don’t you feel better now?

I love you, Mom.

Have a nice day.

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9 responses to “My Mother Asks Sus

  1. What exactly is Jerseylicious?

  2. I’m with Heather. I had no idea there was an actual show called Jerseylicious…but i’m sure I will be watching re-runs someday next year and will be calling you for an intervention.

  3. I enjoyed my visit with you. You read my mind! I’ll be happy to clean your microwave…I was afraid you’d say “my oven” and I’d have to “no”. So looking forward to seeing you all.

  4. Love the Mom interviews. Wish she could help me clean my microwave. I do fine until I actually look at the ceiling of the microwave (or whatever you call it). I advise not doing this.

  5. Why is it that we still look to our mothers for help cleaning microwaves? It is the first thing that she tackles when she gets here…that and my refrigerator. I am perfectly capable of doing those chores, if I didn’t spend all of my time schleping my kids, working a full time job, studying archeology vocabulary, monitoring instrument practice, and CONSTANTLY carrying rogue shoes upstairs…

    Help Mom!!!

  6. One big group hug for your mom! oh, and you, too, CPQ.

  7. I’m with mom on that last bit. And I live in “Jersey”. I think I need to ask my hubs if I’m Jerseylicious : ) To answer your question-the crazies on the program are not representative of all residents of The Garden State. Some. But not all.

  8. I bet your mom is the coolest.

  9. Jerseylicious is a wonderful guilty pleasure. It’s a total train wreck that you can’t help but watching. It will definitely make you feel better about yourself and will make you feel very smart.

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