In which I go out of the frying pan and into the fire

So I’ve been looking for a new doctor to go to for the last three years. It has helped that I haven’t been “on my deathbed” sick for quite a while though come to think of it I might have said I was going to die a few weeks ago when I had the Black Plague but as you all know, I *might* be prone to a little hyperbole every once in a while especially if it can be used for dramatic effect or a good blog post.

I do not particularly enjoy going to the doctor and so I have to be good and dead sick before I will darken the doors of a medical establishment. My last practice which I chose 11 years ago when we moved to NC based on the fact it was a) on a street I could find, and b) they could see me that day, turned out to be a crunchy, holistic sort of place run by a guy who’d been a Peace Corp volunteer which I think is code for “didn’t find employment after medical school” but he was fine and convenient up until the point I had double bronchitis and walking pneumonia and he suggested a Neti pot and some Epsom salts instead of something a little stronger and it took me a month of hacking before he begrudgingly prescribed me evil antibiotics which set me on the road to recovery.

After that little episode, I decided it might be time to find someone new so I’ve spent the last few years doing nothing researching some other providers and after getting a brochure in the mail careful deliberation I found another provider that is a) on a street I can find, and b) was available this week.

I am nothing if not consistent.
It’s part of my charm.

So I went to see my new doctor yesterday for a routine physical and while we were chatting, turns out?

Not only is she holistic?

She’s Ancient Chinese Secret holistic.

Yep, looks like Susie Q just chose a doctor who specializes in traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture and turns out that I have all sorts of new things to obsess over because apparently I’ve got some bad juju energy going on. (She figured that out because I have a ruffled tongue and when I told her it was just trying to be fashionable and keep up with the times, she rolled her eyes. We need to work on her sense of humor.)

And if you want to have fun, go google Spleen Qi Deficiency and learn about all my sagging organs and why I shouldn’t eat raw vegetables.

Oh, it’s delightful.

Eye of newt and ginseng bark notwithstanding, it was a good checkup and she pronounced me fit and healthy except for my bad qi and I’m just so intrigued and will always be able to get good blog fodder from my visits that I think I’m going to stay with her.

Unless I get bronchitis and she suggests acupuncture.

Have a nice day.

10 responses to “In which I go out of the frying pan and into the fire

  1. That is a riot!!! Not that I wish you ill will, but I can’t wait til your next appt.!!

  2. OK, I threw in a close emphasis tag so the rest of your comments wouldn’t be in italic.

  3. this is great. I may have to try your new doc, especially since I know who your former practice is…
    this sounds like most excellent blog fodder.

  4. I’m tempted to go to her out of morbid curiosity. If you are healthy with a side of bad qi, what would she think my problem is with my assortment of disorders?

    And I kind of think I could give up raw vegetables. You know, if they could be replaced with Mrs. Baird’s cinnamon bun thingies. (And by the way, I’m not sure if I should thank you for introducing me to those or if I should be mad at you because now I have another thing to miss about Texas.)

  5. Only you have blog fodder docs. Mine just write the prescription and wish me well. Which is fine with me…it would also be fine with me if they told me to NOT eat raw veggies…

    Fun post…as always!

  6. About a month ago, I started playing Words With Friends (I’m one who normally has to run to catch up to fads). I had never heard of “Qi” until a friend played it on me. My thought was “I will never hear that word outside of WWF for the rest of my life.”

    And there it is.

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