Deuteronomy 2:3

“You’ve circled this mountain long enough.  Now go north.”  Deuteronomy 2:3

In July of this year, my mother called to tell me that we’d be taking family pictures when I was out to see them later in the month.  I moaned and groaned over the phone hoping to talk her out of it but this is my mother we’re talking about and so I hung up the phone and casually wandered into the bathroom to step on the scales wondering what weight this year’s family picture would commemorate.

And then I burst into tears.

I weighed 200 pounds.

The first part of this year was so incredibly stressful for me.  In between selling our house (and keeping it “show-ready” at all times), hunting for new houses, thinking we’d found our perfect house and losing it (twice), then finding our current home, packing, unpacking, and doing all of this while Craig was gone every week on the busiest travel schedule of our entire married life,  let me tell you, my ability to manage stress had fled to some tropical island leaving me with no coping skills whatsoever.

So I did what any non-self-respecting girl would do.

I ate.

I ate jelly beans.  I ate sushi.  I ate entire family-sized bags of Pirate’s Booty.  I got to be such a loyal customer at Jersey Mike’s that they gave me a reward card that I punched enough times to get the free foot-long sub.

The kid behind the counter said he’d never seen a woman claim the prize.

I was absolutely mortified when he said that.

So I ate the whole thing.

And week by week, and month by month, my clothes got tighter, and tighter, and the sizes went up and up, and by the end of August, I was bigger than I’d ever been in my entire life and the new clothes I’d just bought were already tight and I sat on the couch and bawled my eyes out and scared my poor husband who had just walked in the door from yet another business trip.

It was ugly.

Something had to be done.

So August 19, I grabbed a journal and wrote the following reasons why I was about to make some drastic changes.

1.  I feel like my husband is embarrassed by me.

2.  I’m embarrassed by me.

3.  I weigh more than I should.

4.  I ache.

5.  I don’t want diabetes at 41.

6.  I don’t want to fight this battle at 42.

7.  I want to stop using food as a crutch.

8.  I want to set a good example for my kids.

9.  I don’t want to avoid mirrors for the rest of my life.

10.  I feel old.

And then I went hard-core on a special program and cut out sugar, bread, potatoes and any and all fast and fried food and got seriously cranky for about two weeks while I adjusted to losing my primary fuel source.

Day 1.

Every day while I ate my VERY LITTLE bar of food or drank my shake I would read over the list of reasons why I was doing this, and every time I’d repeat an affirmation or two to keep myself motivated, chief among them “I am made for more than this” and “French fries are not my friends” and day by day and week by week, I inched toward my goal.

Ten pounds down

Twenty pounds down

Thirty pounds down

Forty pounds down

And today, four months later, I wrote down ten new things in my journal.

1.  My husband is so proud of me.

2.  I’m proud of me.

3. I’ve lost all my baby weight twelve years later.

4.  I don’t ache anymore and don’t dread walking upstairs.

5.  I’ve lowered my risk of diabetes tremendously.  Cancer, too.

6.  I’m at  a perfectly normal weight.

7.  I don’t eat emotionally anymore.  I eat because it’s mealtime.

8.  My kids are eating more fruit and vegetables than they ever have before.

9.  I don’t dread the dressing room mirror any more.

10.  I feel young and energetic.

This morning:

Good-bye, 43 pounds, four dress sizes, and thirty inches.

Hello, 42.

Happy Birthday to me.

Have a nice day.

27 responses to “Deuteronomy 2:3

  1. Happy Birthday, indeed. You’re my inspiration.

  2. Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas! What an accomplishment!!! You have reason to be proud!

  3. Amazing. Congratulations!!!!!!!

  4. Beautiful then. Beautiful, confident, & healthy, now! Happy birthday!!!!! You did it!

  5. Wow. You look great! I’m proud of you … and thanks for the kick in the pants. I’m having those long hard painful talks with myself as well.

  6. And happy birthday. : )

  7. You look marvelous! And I know you feel even better! Congratulations and happy, happy birthday!

  8. You look absolutely fabulous! You need to e-mail me that plan! I did WW the first quarter of this year and it worked beautifully, then I stopped and so did the weight loss.

    Happy Birthday!

  9. You look great! Way to go!! I have been on and off WW so many times it’s a joke but I’m starting it again because I know it works. My daughter has lost almost 50 pounds in about 6 months. I know I can do it too. I hope I get willpower for Christmas this year….

  10. You go girl 🙂 you are beautiful!!! Happy bday and merry christmas my friend!!!

  11. Happy Birthday!! You are awesome! Congratulations! You have inspired me. I have been thinking lately of a quote I read that said something along the lines of “insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.” Kind of like I keep eating and wondering why I’m not losing any weight. ha! Today, after I’m stuffed with buffalo chicken dip and chocolate fudge from yesterday, will be a new beginning. Happy NEW Year!!

  12. Tina Henoch Burrows

    Inspired. You just continue to amaze and inspire me. You are a blessing.

  13. Good for you! My daughter did the same thing, but she’s got three years on you. And, honestly, I don’t see a thing wrong with the “before” shots. You are still to be congratulated. I know it’s hard.

  14. You have every right to feel so proud! Good for you!

  15. Beautiful, as always! Proud of you!

  16. Wow! SO INSPIRATIONAL!!! Thank you for sharing!

  17. You are amazing! That journey is never easy but you are reaping the rewards.

  18. I loved you a year ago. And I love you today. So proud that you took the initiative to get your health under control, for you and for those you love. And the icing on the cake: you look great!

  19. Congratulations..You look great, but you looked great in July 🙂 What a wonderful B.D. present to yourself, and an inspiration to your brother and I who are starting on that hard trek.. will have to re-read this blog every day….LOL

  20. Either the 200 is an exaggeration or you are 10 feet tall because you looked good to start with, but you are an even hotter momma now! Congrats! And Happy birthday!

  21. ok sus, I have read this twice. Seriously, the first time I had tears. The second time my mouth flew open. This was JUST what I needed to read. Look for my before/after post this Spring!

  22. I’m so happy and proud of you! You looked good before, but now you look radiant and fabulous! You go girl, a.k.a. skinny minnie!

  23. Great job!!!! So impressed that you stuck to the plan with such discipline. I’m a big cheater. Your pictures are great, too!

  24. Happy (really late) birthday. You look amazing!
    I am coming out of lurking to tell you that I love reading your blog. I also have three boys (ages almost 7, 4 and 2). I wish we lived closer so we could meet. I love to hear your stories of surviving a house full of males.

  25. I just ordered medifast. wish me luck…

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