Monthly Archives: January 2013

Monday Musings on Tuesday

I’m at the orthodontist’s office waiting to be scolded by the technician over the boys’ oral hygiene.

As you can imagine, it’s a relaxing time for all of us.

I’ve bought string floss, spinny toothbrushes, Spiderman, Batman, pick-a-heroman toothpaste, a high-falutin’ water flosser and I still get fussed at but, really, lady, I figure there’s not much I can do with thirteen year olds until that cute girl they’ve had their eye on says something to them about the Cheetos in their braces. I expect they’ll snap to at that point.

Yesterday was festive. I had a, um, PRESSING matter to take care of at my local radiology center. They were able to SQUEEZE me in at the last minute and when it was done, I and the flattened girls went to Walmart and got there at lunch time with eleventy million people and four checkers and, honestly, I don’t know which was the more painful experience. But I survived and only made a few poor choices.

Just say no to Oatmeal Pop Tarts.

Speaking of painful experiences, I’m happy to report that I’ve stuck with the Jillian Michaels Ripped In 30 exercise plan. I started week 4 this past Sunday and 48 hours later, I’m still trying to get up the gumption to tackle it a second time. It is not a festive 25 minutes but we are pressing on because the trip is right around the corner and we want to be able to enjoy copious amounts of tortilla chips and guacamole while we’re there.

It’s a new low when you plan on and look forward to gaining weight.

Oops – they’re calling me back to inflict emotional angst and guilt, so I need to wrap this up. Hope your week is delightful, which, really, at this point if you haven’t been yelled at by the dental community, your personal trainer, AND had your chest-al parts smashed to bits, you’re ahead of me.

Have a nice day.

Where’s OSHA when you need them?

I was fortunate to be home the weekend of my brother Paul’s birthday. I won’t say which one it was but it was over a “nifty” amount and thus cause for celebration. He had requested a shrimp boil for his big day so we all congregated at my other brother Steve’s house for the meal preparation which, if you know anything about a shrimp boil, involves a ginormous pot and a Bunsen burner hooked directly into a propane tank.

Now, in most situations this little project is done out of doors because of fire, flame, and massive amounts of boiling hot water, but this is Oklahoma in January that we’re talking about and it was about sixteen degrees outside with a wind chill of negative 572. So my brothers brought the whole shebang inside because nothing says fire safety like burning propane inside a hangar with an airplane, jet fuel and other combustible material strewn about.

In typical Greenwood fashion, my people stood around the fire and discussed this, that, and the other. Jokes abounded since Jonathan (my third brother) was there and as we are wont to do when he’s around, we get to reminiscing about the good old days when Steve and Paul had him help them do projects and Jon wound up missing a digit or two before it was all said and done. Seriously, checking into the emergency room at the local hospital when you have our last name takes a while. Every Greenwood male has been up there for a mishap or six and I’m sure we’re only one visit away from getting the new wing named after us, especially after Jonathan’s eyes lit up asking Steve why his fire burned hotter than Jon’s set up at home and Steve replied that all it took was disabling a few little safety features and changing a valve.

This is why at a young age my mother started coloring her hair.

With that little bit of news I thought it might be safer for me to step away from the ticking time bomb and head inside to hang out with my sisters-in-law and the relative safety of the dip bowl. I had already cheated death the day before and I wasn’t going to push my luck.

The meal was delicious and the company even better. Mom brought pie and we sat around and visited and laughed and spent a great afternoon together and my cup, it ran over with joy to be with my family and with happiness that nothing blew up and we all went home with the same body parts with which we arrived.

Have a nice day.

Monday Musings

I have to tell you about my trip to see my family in stages because it’s already 9:00 and I’ve done nothing to get my children prepared to go back to school tomorrow and the list, it is long, but I wanted to quickly say that my trip was just delightful except for the part about getting there because this time I went by plane and, as most of you know, I am a relaxed and peaceful traveler when sitting in a tin can with rockets attached.  

After reading that sentence, Craig is most likely choking on his coffee and nursing that crushed right hand that still twinges on a cold day courtesy of the death grip it received when we narrowly escaped a mid-air collision with another plane while on our return from Jamaica.  I’m sure that event was neither harrowing nor dangerous and yet I never let the slightest anomaly keep me from turning that story into a DEATH DEFYING EVENT because I am a blogger and it makes for a much more interesting story than “We flew home from Jamaica and had to let another plane land first when we inadvertently got on the same glide path. The end.” 

See? Not as fun.

Anyhow, I was on the last leg of my journey from Atlanta to Oklahoma City, laughing a little at the misadventure I’d already had what with the woman in her pajamas who was having the emotional crisis and the emergency being declared at Hartsfield (that turned out to be nothing more than a fire door being breached and why did they have to have airport-wide strobe lights and emergency sirens for that?) and I finally was able to relax a little when the attendant announced that we were beginning our initial descent in OKC.

I tightened my seatbelt (Who am I kidding?  It stays securely wrapped around my spleen the entire time because I’ve read enough stories about people cracking their skulls when hitting air pockets) and started getting excited about seeing my folks and then the pilot came on and said “Folks, we’re going to take a couple of loops around the airport for a few minutes while the ground team makes some preparation to meet us.  The flaps on the plane are stuck in the upright position and that means we’re going to have to land at a faster speed and so we’ve asked the airport to roll the fire trucks so they can be on standby just as a precaution when we land.”

In Susie-speak? 

FOLKS, WE’RE GONNA’ DIE!  WE’RE GONNA’ DIE WHEN OUR PLANE HITS THE GROUND AND WE TUMBLE ACROSS THE PRAIRIE WITH PIECES OF AIRPLANE WING RIPPING OFF IN CHUNKS AND THEN WE’LL EXPLODE IN A BIG BALL OF FLAMES!!!!

People. 

My blood pressure raised faster than Lazarus at the voice of Jesus. 

And speaking of Jesus, He and I got REALLY close in the five minutes it took us to get that plane down to ground. 

 We flipped, we flopped, the plane was all twisty going down (and looking back, I’m sure it had nothing to do with the flaps and everything to do with the fact that the wind NEVER STOPS BLOWING in Oklahoma) and I was quoting ever scripture I’d ever learned including “Jesus wept” and “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might” which is the verse I’d quote before slugging my brother and when those wheels touched the ground and we did not go careening into the Great Beyond, the happiest of tears of relief sprung to my eyes and I may or may not have hugged the pilot on my way out the door (who laughingly told me to speak kindly of him when I posted my experience to Facebook).

I also briefly considered converting to Catholicism so that I could kiss the ground when I stepped off the plane but my mother suggested that a trip to Hobby Lobby and some Braum’s french fries would perhaps be a little more therapeutic.

She’s a smart one, my mama.

After eating and shopping, we made our way home and after a piece of chocolate pie (It was MEDICINAL, people, MEDICINAL), I had to take a little nap to get over the excitement and as I drifted off to sleep under the my pink childhood blanket I made plans to move my family by wagon train out to OK so I’d never have to fly again.

Have a nice day.

 

Crazy

I crammed too much into this week and had fully planned on writing a long Five on Friday post today but I have to unexpectedly attend a funeral this morning and my writing time is gone.

I miss the blog.

Five on Friday

Please forgive any typos – I’m at the Atlanta airport waiting for my flight to be called and writing this post with my thumbs on a very small screen and on less than a full cup of coffee.

Today’s theme is random randomness.

1. I sat next to a woman on the plane who decided that flannel pajamas were appropriate attire.

2. I bought my usual magazines at the book stand. Craig teases me that my plane tickets always have a $15 surcharge because I MUST stop at Hudson News and pick up fresh reading material. Today it was Self and Shape.

3. Flashing lights and alarms are currently going off and the overhead announcer is saying that an emergency has been reported in the ATL airport and that I need to stand by for further instructions.

That’s festive.

4. The Jillian Michaels project is going well. I exercised 5 days this week and have never enjoyed a rest day more.

I think I’ve been motivated to stick with it knowing my mom has potato salad and chocolate pie waiting for me at home.

Sabotage, thy name is Susan.

5. The boys are going snow tubing this weekend and the latest weather forecast shows 70 degrees at their destination.

Of course, I still packed gloves and cold weather gear for them because I’m a jungle girl mom and they need to have something to talk about when they’re older.

I hope your weekend is fun. I know mine will be, once the stay of emergency is lifted.

Have a nice day.

Monday Musings

It is a labor of love to write today’s blog post because I can barely move my fingers due the fresh hell that has descended upon me courtesy of Jillian Michaels. I started her Ripped in 30 exercise program which, contrary to popular opinion, does not mean that you’ll be sporting a beach body in 30 days but will, in fact, lie gasping on the floor within 30 seconds pondering whether or not it would be cricket to heave onto the new carpet on your bedroom floor.

Why, no, I haven’t exercised in over 10 months. Why do you ask?

My friend Tracey came over to the house last Friday morning and as we visited over several pieces of sour cream coffee cake (HINT, THIS MAY BE WHY I COULDN’T MAKE IT PAST THE SECOND CARDIO ROUND), we were discussing the tragedies of being in our 40s and she said that she was starting the Thirty Day Shred this next week and because I’m a bandwagon-er I said that was a wonderful idea and I’d do it to.

Regrets, I’ve had a few…

Anyway, I spent the rest of the weekend obsessing over starting the exercise program sometime this next week and decided yesterday morning just to rip off the band-aid and get started.  I’ve somehow managed to get Craig committed to joining me, though judging by the wordless looks we exchanged this morning after completing Day 2, the spirit AND flesh are weak and oh, so unwilling and this will be a hard, long slog to the bitter, bitter end.  But we shall persevere because I want to enjoy our upcoming long week-end in Mexico instead of sitting wrapped up on the beach wishing that I’d done something (ANYTHING) in the previous 40 days, so, in other words, for the next forty days Ima gonna’ be cranky.

In other news, before I was unable to lift my arms over my head, the kids and I went to the cheap movies on Saturday and saw Wreck It Ralph and then went to Walmart to spend their allowances and gift cards they received from Aunt Patty and Uncle Steve.  Tommy bought some a new Skylander, JJ an Airsoft gun (dear neighbors, I’ve asked him to stay in the back yard with it but I make no promises), and Travis bought yet another Thomas train. I bought responsible things like milk, eggs, and Chocolate Lucky Charms.

The highlight of the weekend, though, was sitting on the couch and catching the season premier of Downton Abbey.  I have missed my favorite aristocrats and the episode did not disappoint.  I’m a little sad, though, because I haven’t been able to keep away from the spoilers and I know what happens in the season finale and I won’t share it here in case everyone else is spoiler free but lemme just say that you need to prepare yourselves.

No big plans for the week except getting the boys ready for their snow tubing weekend with the youth group (have to find a snow bib that will fit Tommy) and doing some cooking since C is home all week. That, and relearning how to bend my arms and stand unaided from a seated position.

Have a nice day.