Where’s OSHA when you need them?

I was fortunate to be home the weekend of my brother Paul’s birthday. I won’t say which one it was but it was over a “nifty” amount and thus cause for celebration. He had requested a shrimp boil for his big day so we all congregated at my other brother Steve’s house for the meal preparation which, if you know anything about a shrimp boil, involves a ginormous pot and a Bunsen burner hooked directly into a propane tank.

Now, in most situations this little project is done out of doors because of fire, flame, and massive amounts of boiling hot water, but this is Oklahoma in January that we’re talking about and it was about sixteen degrees outside with a wind chill of negative 572. So my brothers brought the whole shebang inside because nothing says fire safety like burning propane inside a hangar with an airplane, jet fuel and other combustible material strewn about.

In typical Greenwood fashion, my people stood around the fire and discussed this, that, and the other. Jokes abounded since Jonathan (my third brother) was there and as we are wont to do when he’s around, we get to reminiscing about the good old days when Steve and Paul had him help them do projects and Jon wound up missing a digit or two before it was all said and done. Seriously, checking into the emergency room at the local hospital when you have our last name takes a while. Every Greenwood male has been up there for a mishap or six and I’m sure we’re only one visit away from getting the new wing named after us, especially after Jonathan’s eyes lit up asking Steve why his fire burned hotter than Jon’s set up at home and Steve replied that all it took was disabling a few little safety features and changing a valve.

This is why at a young age my mother started coloring her hair.

With that little bit of news I thought it might be safer for me to step away from the ticking time bomb and head inside to hang out with my sisters-in-law and the relative safety of the dip bowl. I had already cheated death the day before and I wasn’t going to push my luck.

The meal was delicious and the company even better. Mom brought pie and we sat around and visited and laughed and spent a great afternoon together and my cup, it ran over with joy to be with my family and with happiness that nothing blew up and we all went home with the same body parts with which we arrived.

Have a nice day.

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2 responses to “Where’s OSHA when you need them?

  1. I am reminded of that joke about every emergency room visit in (name your place) is preceded by the words “Hey y’all, watch this!”

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