Monday Musings

I’m still trying to soothe a bitter heart over the last second goal scored by Portugal in yesterday’s World Cup match.  I realize that 99% of the people reading this morning probably don’t care about soccer or the Cup but it is such a huge part of my childhood that I am compelled to come here this morning and mope aloud at how we were thiiiiiiiiiis close to winning the game and blew it.  And while a tie isn’t blowing it per se and there’s still a good chance that the US will advance (with a win or draw against Germany  – you are going to watch, aren’t you?) but we could have put it away had we held on for mere seconds longer.


Like, 15.

I need a few more cathartic screams.

The kids have been slightly amused at seeing their mother yell like a maniac, pace the floor, and jump up and down but they’ve gotten into the games even though they can’t understand a word the announcers are saying.  I’ve insisted we watch the matches in Spanish because a) that’s how I was raised, b) it sounds more exciting, and c) everyone knows it’s not a real point until the announcers scream and stretch the word “GOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!”  for five hundred forty-seven minutes.

The boys may also officially love soccer because I let them eat off paper plates in the living room in front of the TV while the evening game is played.

Because priorities.

In non-soccer related news, I suffered a workplace injury last week and I’m telling you all about it so you, too, can escape the danger presented by handling the incredible, edible egg.


Yep, was sporting a little Fat Albert look for a couple of days after burning my lower lip biting into a boiled egg that I’d reheated in the microwave on 50% power for a mere 40 seconds.  It was so barely lukewarm to the touch that I briefly considered putting it back in for another minute but decided to eat it anyway because I didn’t really care how cold it was and when I bit the end off, it released a burst of superheated vapor trapped between the yolk and the white and my lip was instantly like Melanie Griffith’s after one-too-many visits to her dermatologist for plumpers.

So, that was, um, attractive and NOT AT ALL PAINFUL and I hid at home for a couple of days and drank milkshakes through a straw and rolled my eyes at the utter ludicrosity (is that a word? I don’t think so but I’m leaving it in) of the situation that I’d been felled by food.

On the bright side, I lost two pounds.


Have a nice day.


4 responses to “Monday Musings

  1. Growing up in the Midwest and watching endless games of soccer I appreciate your excitement. I don’t get ESPN so I’m stuck hearing all about it from you all!!

  2. stephaniecanipe

    Good one (the blog, not the loss or the burn). And we are TOTALLY still freaked out that Portugal made that last point. Flippen freaken crazy!!! Ok, rant over, peace love & joy.

  3. What is the “soccer” of which you speak? Oh, you mean Sleepytime Kickyball? That’s a thing now?

  4. This cup has been so great in terms of how exciting each match has been! Sadly England out and put lost both games so the whole country is in the middle of mass voodoo to see if the rest of the group can destroy itself and let us progress. Our lectures finish early today so we can all get home in time for our (final?) kickoff.

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