I’ve never hidden the fact I despise going to see any medical professional for any reason whatsoever. Blame the introvert, it’s just not my preference to have people all up in my business.
She said as she wrote yet another entry into her blog that’s be nothing but her business for the last six years.
But I digress.
As a “gift” to myself for turning 45, I decided to start acting a little more grown up about icky things and proactively scheduled appointments to get major systems checked out. This is how the phone call went with my primary care doctor’s scheduler:
Me: I’d like to schedule a physical, please.
Perky Scheduler (PS): Could you tell me your last name?
Me: Sure, it’s Queen, Carpool. I’m a patient of Dr. Probably Has Large Needles
PS: Ms. Queen, I’m very sorry to inform you that we do not have you listed as an active patient.
Me: Hmmm, I know I’ve been there before and saw Dr. Needles.
PS: Well, when you go FOUR YEARS BETWEEN APPOINTMENTS, we tend to think you’ve switched practices.
We got everything straightened out and an appointment made and they drew blood to make sure that everything was okay and then I pretty much flunked the entire blood test.
That was festive.
It also explained why I was always saying, “I’m tired” and couldn’t get through the day without a nap. Apparently, I had NO IRON IN MY BODY (as in, you’re supposed to have boatloads and I was in the low single digits) and that sent me to the head of line and bought me a ticket to iron infusions in June and July. Happily, they worked and I’m able to now stay awake past 8:45 and no longer need to take a nap after lunch
though I’ll never turn down the opportunity if it’s presented.
I went back again yesterday to repeat the blood work to make sure the levels were still holding (they were) but my thyroid results (which I’d also flunked) were even more wacky than three months ago so she had to begrudgingly diagnose hypothyroidism and immediately started me on meds.
Am highly irritated.
And slightly bummed.
Ain’t nobody got time for this.
Remembering to take pills daily has never been my spiritual gift (it’s amazing we don’t have more children than we do – ahem) but maybe if they help me lose weight (it’s a listed side effect!), it’ll be easier to do.
And if any reader is blessed with the same affliction and has any advice, I’m all ears.
Just, apparently, no thyroid.
Have a nice day.