Stump the hardware guy

I was at the orthodontist’s office this morning with JJ paying a high price for a delightful thirty minutes of magazine browsing when I ran across an idea that I think is genius. A mom was talking about how she reduced the incidence of spilled drive-through milk containers in the back seat of the car by using a 1/4″ metal punch to put a hole through the plastic lid of  said containers and pushing a drinking straw through it thereby maintaining the original safety strip securely attaching the lid to the container and also allowing the kids to sip their beverage in a more controlled fashion.

I’d been having the same problem with the kids’ milk containers that we picked up when driving through Dunkin’ Donuts Whole Foods for their Sunday morning triple chocolate old fashioned quinoa salad and had almost given up asking for milk because a couple of the kids who shall remain nameless but they know who they are seemed to have an issue with keeping the lids on when they weren’t drinking.

I stopped by Ace Hardware to pick up the metal punch and since I’d never seen one or even knew how to describe them, I asked one of the handy dandy helpers to show me where they were and he asked, “What do you want to do with it?”


I wasn’t aware I needed an excuse to own one.

Or a license to operate it.

I told him and he looked at me as though I had three heads and then proceeded to spend the next ten minutes discussing with me how metal punches were designed to be used and that I was going to be using it for something that was clearly off-label and I was tempted to explain to him that Botox was used off-label as well but something told me that it would confuse him further so I chose to keep my mouth shut.

After convincing him that I did not mind spending $3.29 to see if it could save me a $100 detailing bill, I paid for the metal punch and walked out the door.

We were both shaking our heads.

Have a nice day.

19 responses to “Stump the hardware guy

  1. That’s happened to me before when I have a craft or decorating idea that requires a hardware item. I love the idea!

  2. I love this idea. Especially since the phrase “PUT THE TOP BACK ON IF YOU AREN’T ACTIVELY DRINKING IT” doesn’t translate into whatever language my children speak.

  3. I’ve heard of this but have failed to execute the plan yet. Good to know what I’ll be in for when I finally make my way to the hardware store.

    Doesn’t Mr. Hardware Guy know NOT to come between a mama and her grandiose idea of a clean, kid haulin’ car???

  4. an “off label use” for a metal hole punch? bwahahahahahahahaha.

    that dude takes his job seriously!!

  5. There are a couple of things that bother me about this man:

    Either he has no children and does not understand how this could happen altogether or he does not comprehend the importance of keeping a back seat nice and clean.

    Either way…why should he want to dissuage an excited mother her opportunity for a wonderfully clean car? I’d seriously consider a metal punch myself, for my own clean car.

    However, mine usually drinks soda. :\

  6. There are a few phrases we concentrate on, early on… HAT ON (b/c they are all bald and it is sunny) and LID ON.

  7. Mr. Hardware must be a newbie. And unmarried. All qualified men know better than to ask any woman “why” about any given subject.

  8. ok. I’m totally a visual learner so I will need photos to accompany this new-fangled gadget you are speaking of!!

    Sounds like it is worth $3.29, for sure!

  9. You can do the same thing with a car key/house key/any old key on your key ring…..

  10. haha I have a feeling Jay might need that too — however, we have admittedly low standards for our car’s cleanliness so we might just say ‘to heck with it’ 🙂

  11. Not Ned’s onto something. They should provide those with the Happy Meal. Much more useful than the dinky Made In China toy. And much more entertaining.

  12. Hilarious. Thanks. I needed a laugh. It’s also a great idea! I always just opted for the “Give me an empty cup, lid, and straw if you know what is good for you.” to the drive through staff. Er, wait, it always sounds much nicer in person. Doesn’t really seem to matter, though, because my nose always leads me to some rogue cup that’s made its way under my back seat.

  13. Brilliant idea.

    I often find myself trying to explain my “projects” to the home improvement store workers and I get the eye rolling, head scratching response too. Infuriating.

  14. The Botox line is priceless.

  15. This is why moms should rule the world. Not only will we come up with out-of-the-box ideas, we’ll do it quicker, and cheaper!

    Ingeneous idea! You’ll have to let us know how it works!ji

  16. I have definitely learned in these type situations to say, “Don’t ask”. Glad to know there are others who find themselves trying to justify a crazy idea to the hardware man!
    BTW…I love the hardware men and their stores!

  17. Because I said so. That’s why.

    That should just about cover Mr. Ace Hardware. I mean, really.

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